Tamra Barney is finally opening up about her anger issues and why she has a hard time getting close to people. Tamra is taking to her Bravo Blog to explain how her childhood has affected her life and relationships as an adult. Tamra says opening up about her depression is the hardest thing she has ever talked about on The Real Housewives of Orange County.
Tamra writes, “Sharing my story about depression has been one of the hardest things I have talked about on this show and something that I was not necessarily even wanting to share. At the time, I was overly concerned with my son Ryan, who suffers from anxiety and depression, and it brought back so many memories of my own. Seeing yourself through your children’s struggles is a very difficult thing to face.
I am not blaming my parents for the way they raised me or referring to myself as a victim. Both my parents had difficult childhoods. My mom’s mom was hospitalized most of her life for mental illness and my dad’s parents were alcoholics . I love my parents and appreciate everything they did for me.
I’m not sure if my parents never saying “I love you” made me struggle in life or if depression is just hereditary? What I do know is that I struggled with my own inner demons form a young age — something that most people would not even understand. Most of my life I felt alone and I was sad. I used my sarcasm to hide behind the pain and didn’t let people get to close to me.
Gretchen is that kind of friend that wants to know everything about your life and I am not used to someone like that. She has a real sweetness about her that makes you want to open up. As much as I care about Gretchen, she is the type of person that scares me — not because she is a bad person but its hard for me open up to people. I really do think we have different types of friends for different reasons.
Vicki and I have gone through a lot of the same adult struggles in life and although we talk about them at the time, we really don’t know each other deep inside. I think that is why we are so drawn to each other? We live for the moment and forget about the past.
I am finally at a point in my life where I am happy. I understand why I am the way I am and I’m trying to correct the things I need to change. I continue to workout daily to help me deal with depression. I will always have a problem dealing with emotions and expressing myself and I might even have a freak out now and then. I am only human!”
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