Siggy Flicker believes her RHONJ co-stars should have cared that she was upset about the cake. In her blog, Flicker apologizes for saying she’s smarter than her co-stars and regrets calling them animals. She also explains how Margaret Josephs is a hypocrite for saying Siggy kisses Kim D’s ass, when clearly, Margaret is kissing Teresa’s ass.
Siggy tells Danielle Staub that she’s going to take her advice from season 2. When someone shushs her she’s going to speak louder. Flicker also calls out Staub for running back and forth to Teresa and Melissa.
“Here we are again, starting with the cake fight that went down at the end of the previous episode.
There are many other topics I would prefer to discuss, but it really isn’t about the cake itself. The truth is that it stopped being about the cake as soon as my “friends” saw how upset I was and completely disregarded my feelings. Whether they felt like my reaction was valid or not, they should have cared that their friend was upset. They didn’t have to be sorry about destroying a cake in order to be sorry that I was sad and embarrassed as a result.
Why can’t I talk about something that upsets me? How many seasons did Teresa and Melissa bring up the sprinkle cookies incident? Let’s see. It happened back in 2011, yet I couldn’t mention a different dessert for an episode or two? Double standards, much?
I get it—the cake fight was cute. At first. A true friend like Teresa wanted to lighten the mood, so she and Melissa started doing their thing. Unfortunately it ended with a work of art (which was made as a tribute to my friend) getting chucked across the restaurant, and guess what? I got upset. Making a mess at a restaurant and expecting other people to clean it up was rude. Disregarding the hours it took to bake and decorate the cake was disrespectful. Not taking into account that I knew the staff and patrons at the restaurant was inconsiderate.
I am not bothered because my friends had fun. I’m actually happy that they managed to enjoy themselves during such a difficult time for their family. During and after the food fight, no one except for Dolores took my feelings into account. THAT is why I’m upset. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m sensitive, but I am also the first one to take other people’s feelings into account and apologize for hurting them when applicable.
I understand that the women felt insulted when I said they were “acting like animals” and that “my IQ is a lot higher than all these girls.” Anyone would be upset by that, but I was reacting to the cake toss in the heat of the moment. I apologize for making anyone feel bad—that is the last thing I would want to do.
But come on. Danielle declared that my behavior in response to food being thrown was “a lot more immature than having a food fight.” How does this make any sense? Margaret even had the nerve to say, “I was a little bit taken aback.” She was taken aback by my REACTION to a cake flying through a restaurant but not by the toss itself. Really? Then Margaret thought it was hilarious to nickname me “Soggy” and laugh while saying “I’m crying all night” to make fun of me. Talk about mature.
It’s interesting how I was accused of “kissing Kim D’s ass,” and Dolores was made fun of for (supposedly) kissing mine, but no one called out Margaret for throwing a memorial service for Teresa’s mother that she’d never met only 36 hours after meeting Teresa herself? If that’s not considered “ass-kissing,” then I don’t know what it is. Thankfully, Teresa was touched by the ceremony, and that’s what matters the most, but the execution of the event was insensitive and clearly calculated.
Margaret didn’t even know Teresa well enough to grasp if she was comfortable taking part in the ceremony at that point in the grieving process. Luckily, she was receptive to the gesture and considered it to be therapeutic. No one thought to call up Dolores—who has known Teresa and her mother since she was 16 years old—to take part in the ritual. If anyone could comfort Teresa with warm memories of her mother, it would be Dolores. No one felt that it was insensitive to throw an event at a beach club where I’ve been a member for years without texting me to join.
It was premeditated and disrespectful to prey on Teresa during a vulnerable time and pit her and Melissa against Dolores and me by purposely excluding us. Everyone on the beach had our phone numbers and easily could have united the group to support Teresa. Margaret should have sent a message about the memorial as soon as she bought that wreath for Teresa.
On the tennis court, Margaret riled up Dolores with her faux concern about me. She remarked, “Is Siggy okay? We walked in today, and she’s upset. Last night, she’s upset.” Why didn’t she just check on me the night before, that morning, or pull me aside at Lori’s house? Oh that’s right, because she wanted to provoke Dolores into turning on me. There’s zero chance of that ever happening, but nice try. Influencing two out of three isn’t bad.
Margaret declared, “She did say a few things last night that got everybody upset to start out with.” Margaret recapped, “She did call them animals. She did say ‘my IQ is higher.’ ” TO START OUT WITH? The cake toss was what incited me to make those comments, yet I was the pot stirrer who “started” all of this? I don’t think so.
Danielle and Margaret continued to report every single thing back to Teresa and Melissa to pour more fuel on the fire. Their intention was to divide and conquer. Margaret shared the tennis court conversation with Dolores with the other girls in the van. Danielle even instructed them, “Tonight you guys address this with her” as the van was pulling up to my home. These two had zero intention of having a peaceful dinner.
I have to admit that I didn’t remember exactly what I said the night before. We were filming for hours, so it was tough to keep track, especially during such an emotional night, but I did declare at dinner, “I’m going to own everything I said,” so here we are.
I never singled out Melissa and Teresa by saying they were from New Jersey. The clip has been shown a million times in the Season 8 trailer, and it was very clear during both episodes. I said, “We’re gonna have to explain to the restaurant that we’re from Jersey.” Is that really such an awful thing to say? This series was put on the map thanks to a table flip. After that incident, there was hair pulled during a chase in a country club, Andy Cohen was pushed at a reunion, a brawl ensued at a christening, there was a physical fight at family therapy, and cookies were thrown in the garbage—yet me associating a cake throw with New Jersey and this show was somehow an awful thing to say. Is the cake throw considered to be an offensive incident only when the other ladies say it is? Whenever I mention it, it’s not something to be ashamed of at all, and I’m “overreacting.”
Can someone please tell me what I am allowed to say? Clearly, I have to take the word “trash” out of my vocabulary. To clarify, I did not refer to anyone’s existence as “trash” or “trashy.” I said they were ACTING trashy. My friends are NOT trashy. My point (that I keep trying to reiterate) is that making a mess and not caring about the consequences is not at all acceptable—no matter how much fun it was.
I was just getting to know Danielle, and she had no idea about my relationships with Teresa or Melissa. Who is she to tell me what words I can use? She once told Dina Manzo, “Next time you try to shush me, expect me to speak louder.” I’m going to operate the same way. The next time Danielle shushes me, I will come at her louder, and anyone with a sense of hearing knows just how loud I can be.
Danielle asked, “Who cries about a cake?” Margaret responded to that cue with, “Siggy, better known as Soggy Flicker, with all the crying.” You don’t just think of “Soggy Flicker” in the heat of the moment. You don’t just go out and buy a flower arrangement for someone you just met in the heat of the moment and exclude the girl who introduced you both. You don’t make fun of someone for being who they are.
As Melissa pointed out, I am well-aware that I can be called worse things than Soggy, but just because others have had it worse, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have it bad or that my feelings are invalid. The word “soggy” isn’t awful in isolation, but using the word to make fun of me for crying after I felt excluded and disrespected is mean. Not only that, but it triggers a lot of emotions from my childhood. I don’t like name calling. I was called names my whole life. Do you think it was easy to grow up with the name Sigalit Paldiel? As much as I love it now, and I’m so proud of my heritage, it took a lot of time to feel this good about myself.
When Margaret called me “Soggy Flicker” (which I didn’t think was funny, and the timing of it couldn’t be more off), I was shocked and hurt. I invited her into my home and felt attacked. At that moment, it was apparent that I was upset and fighting with my friends, and I felt that instead of calming the situation, Margaret added fuel to the fire.
After two nights in a row that dinner was cut short, I couldn’t help uttering, “I feel like we should never have dinner again.” It broke my heart to see my friends walk out of the house and to add insult to injury, Teresa had to yell out, “I don’t want your doggy bag. The crab cake was salty anyway.” Everyone was aware that SexZ Chef cooked the meal, so dragging him into the drama was unnecessary and rude. Not only that, but he appeared on the show with his name and title on the screen. It is potentially damaging to someone’s livelihood to trash their skills in their profession. Yes, it was a comment made in the heat of the moment, but just like the people who baked and decorated the cake, the chef was disrespected. I go out of the way to treat everyone around me with kindness and respect, and I will not condone anything less.
Actions speak louder than words. Along with myself, I am holding these girls accountable for their actions. We all make mistakes. We’ve all hurt a friend without intending to, but being accountable for our actions is the only way that pain can be turned into peace.”
Thoughts on this episode? Whose side are YOU on?
Photo Credit: Bravo