Season One Housewife- The Gauntlet

In the early days of Bravo (when reunion sets looked like the DMV and Andy Cohen didn’t refer to himself as ‘Daddy’ yet) Housewives got hired and stayed around a long time. Somewhere circa New York Season 3 it became okay to Fire and Hire faster than Karen Walker downs a martini. We became complacent with the New Girl concept and perhaps, even in places we don’t share at upscale Sip and See’s, enjoyed seeing the New Girl earn her voice Hunger Games style…only the Hunger Games are all-day drinking games.

Recent New Girl Casts include Kelly of House Dodd, D’Andra the Porcelain, Brienne of Tarth… errr I mean Cameron, Peggy Protector of the Armenias and Margaret, Wearer of Pigtails, second of her name.

For the purpose of this excercise, I’m going to compare and contrast Kelly and Peggy…mostly because I haven’t watched much NJ and because D’Andra’s site was jacked when I tried to order my Hard Night Good Morning Serum so I’m still chapped.

Let me put this mildly. Kelly was a GOOD cast and Peggy needs to be flung back to Armenia to live out her days planning her kids’ arranged marriages. NO, I’m not making fun of her culture or anyone foreign-ish. I’m ALL for it… but if the culture-gap makes them a poor Housewife, as Bon Qui Qui says, “NEED TO GO.” Kelly showed her Yul Brenner husband, her flaws, her spoiled kid and caused enough ruckus for us to hate her or love her. That’s ratings, people. You were tuning in to hope she got thrown under the (actual) bus (in Ireland) OR you were impressed she could hang with Vicki and stick up to TAHHHMRA (say it in your best Gretchen growl).

Someone fell asleep on the casting couch when they cast Peggy. (Bad time to be making Casting Couch jokes in America, I realize). A day at Evolution Media: “Sigh, Doug and Alex are already multimillionaires and they are out of town…. I need to get this Season 12 casting piece done for OC today.” Millienial intern then glances at phone. “OH MY GOD! Starbucks is having a BOGO on Ventis today. Need to bounce. Oh casting—- meh the pretty lady from Atlantis or Argentina or wherever will be fine.”  Sends contract and presto- here she comes onto our screens in her Seinfeldian black and white cookie car.

The Housewife recipe matters. It needs to be perfectly mixed with exact amounts of pretty, interesting, tough, rich-ish, authenticity and FUN. RHOBH Kathryn was missing FUN. Lydia was and still is missing interesting. Heather and Gretchen probably finally got fired for lack of authenticity. I sometimes feel like casting is getting caught up in the wealthy aspect thinking if someone lives super-opulent, that is enough. It’s not. We’d rather see Tamra’s nice yet not mansion-y condo than a million Chez Dubrow (ya’all, DID we ever see that?). Tamra was a smart cast in that she brings us herself and gives good show.

Peggy looks the part of a housewife. Pretty, rich, decent sounding story-line, kids to film with (always a plus), married, ethnic. “Yay we’ll show her making dolmas”. I’d rather watch Gretchen wrap and ship purses.

She just didn’t get it on ANY level. First scene: “stop talking about drama,” she says. Ummmm then WHAT are we going to film the other 18.5 episodes of this season? Cuz it’s not the edgy, sizzling insurance industry. She doses’t know how to debate. She doesn’t know how to play the game at all. Did she not watch the show? I honestly think the producers thought we’d all hear ‘Armenia’, think “Kardashian” and give her a Reality TV hall pass.

She’s probably already gone. Off to an old tent where dried up Housewife Khaleesi’s go to relive their glory days (Jill Zarin presiding over ceremonies of course). “MEGHAN, your baby was crying for ten minutes.” I do. I say it outloud around my house in my best Amy Phillips doing Peggy voice. Mine sounds more Jersey than Armenian/Russian tho. But at least Peggy gave SOMETHING to season 12; the perfect non-sensical filler-sentence to throw your detractors off. Husband: “You tailgate.” Me:”Meghan your baby was crying for ten minutes”. Use it! It’s fun. It’s baffling, ridiculous and completely doesn’t fit. Just like Peggy.

Photo Credit: Bravo

Jill Hickey

Jill Hickey

Mom for 4, wife, Bravo Shows MegaFan, Dance Fitness Instructor, Contributor Fox4KC, Retired Podcaster “NotSoSoccerMom.”

  • melodie Phillips

    I actually got a kick out of listening to Peggy. What came out of her mouth was just so ridiculous it became hysterical. Some of the crap that came out of her mouth made her look as if she was a true Dumb BLONDE with brown hair. LOL I don’t believe in this “it’s just the culture crap” She truly is one of the dumbest woman I have seen on television. The way she explained her so called “issues” with Lydia in her room, just showed how ignorant and uneducated she is.
    BYE BYE PEGGY. after you leave the stage, please go buy a book on diplomacy and manners. You need help.

    • Jay

      cause listening to smart and funny people is overrated… *eyeroll*
      I agree Peggy time to bye bye and take dicko with ya! 😀

  • UnrealHousewife57

    I know I’ll burn in hell one day, but when Peggy said she put her double mastectomy behind her, all I could picture was her boobs coming out of her back. She makes no sense most of the time so that’s where my mind went.

    • Daisy

      I’ll be burning right beside you because your comment made me laugh

  • JerseyGirl

    Welcome Jill! Great post and I agree with everything you said!

    • Jill Battenfield Hickey

      Thanks so much! It’s so fun to be here ATRH.

  • Kitty Kat

    This was the funniest & truest article I have read in a long, long time…Good job..

    • Jill Battenfield Hickey

      Thanks! My inner-casting director was having a good time.

  • Boo

    Very well written, Jill.
    I enjoyed it immensely!

    • Jill Battenfield Hickey

      Yay! Thanks!

  • Jay

    On point!

  • Jill Battenfield Hickey

    Smartarsery is a definite Plus, right!? Thanks so much! Fun to write.

  • missroxmiss

    great recap. Peg is 1 dumb and done.. probably no clue what is coming .. Her husband would only be able to offer her up to be on for free for Bravo to keep her. well I am hoping.

  • Whatever, I liked her. They should dump Lydia instead.

  • Tuna Char-Char

    Peggy was weird but unfortunately not in a Kelly Bensimon kind of way.

  • cat62

    Well, she certainly did cause drama and that’s what the producers like. She was constantly causing issues, acting like it was a cultural issue of misunderstanding…don’t buy it Peggy. You are either really really dumb or very very manipulative…probably both.

  • Kelly Dodd was a good casting choice? No, Kelly Dodd is an example of how Bravo has gone so heavily toward drama that their casting can almost be immoral. Kelly is psychologically unstable. To put her in front of cameras only exacerbates things, and frankly makes that part of the franchise unwatchable.

  • Amanda Bates Barnette

    Team Peggy!!! Classy never goes out of style.

  • Aquarius_Ascending

    Lmao this article is errrythang.

  • DaysofWineandRoses

    Sorry, but the comment about flinging Peggy back to Armenia to plan for her kids’ arranged marriages is not very nice. Stereotype much? While I may agree that Peggy might not be the perfect fit for this show, it’s been a bothersome how the cast and some members of the viewing audience continually bolster the narrative of her “otherness” because of her ethnicity. Dislike her if you must, because she’s say, ostentatious, generally a poor communicator, or because she aligned herself with Vicki Gulvanson as a friend, but all the pointed observations about her accent & cultural identity? It’s problematic and speaks to something much deeper in terms of how we truly view that “otherness”, no matter how many times it’s stated that it’s not her culture or anyone “foreign-ish” being made fun of. Just food for thought. Have a great day everybody ☕️

  • Real Sandy

    I didn’t watch this season, so I probably should not comment.
    Honestly, I never watched OC for years, since it just looked like a bunch of California blondes…Oh, with the token brunette, maybe, and it seemed the casting was seeking shallow party girls, but I may be wrong. I watched for just a few seasons, and it seemed that Vicki and Tamra were the It girls, and if you were not in their clique, then you were shunned and laughed at, and the drunken behavior was the worst.
    Vicky was the worst, and because of her, and the casting of Kelly who became evil personified from what I had seen, I stopped watching for this season.
    I don’t know Peggy, but I am not surprised she was shunned and/or criticized because she did not fit the mold of the others. I have seen things written that she is not accepting of homosexuals (because of her non relationship with her own gay sibling), but, I have not seen the show, and only read about her.
    When others make derogatory prejudicial comments here, as DaysOWR has mentioned, it is not nice, as she stated. It is really sad.
    As I have mentioned in the past, I love the differences of people. If we all were the same, it would be a very boring world. We should all love who we are and accept others.
    That’s all. I did watch the reunions, but not the show this season.