RHONJ Season 5 Storyline Analysis!

Bravo confused viewers with the ‘Family Is A Force Of Nature’ promo video for Season 5 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Now, the network is offering some theories on what each of the women are doing in the video, and how it will represent their storyline in the new Season! Click to enlarge the photo below, and read how Bravo analyzes the women’s actions.

Melissa's shoveling lends itself to many interpretations. Is she finally burying the hatchet with Teresa or is she digging up dirt about her? Jacqueline's presence leads us to believe it's the latter, since this is the only shot where two ladies are featured at once and Jacqueline seems to be looking on in an encouraging way.
Melissa’s shoveling lends itself to many interpretations. Is she finally burying the hatchet with Teresa or is she digging up dirt about her? Jacqueline’s presence leads us to believe it’s the latter, since this is the only shot where two ladies are featured at once and Jacqueline seems to be looking on in an encouraging way.
It's unclear why Jaqueline needs to punch that sapling into the ground. Is she showing it tough love? Because that can only mean one thing -- Ashlee's return! Then again this is New Jersey, so she may just be practicing her fist pumping.
It’s unclear why Jaqueline needs to punch that sapling into the ground. Is she showing it tough love? Because that can only mean one thing — Ashlee’s return! Then again this is New Jersey, so she may just be practicing her fist pumping.
We're thinking that's definitely Kathy's Red Velvet Vodka coming out of the watering can. And if that's the case, is her business beginning to bloom at a rapid (too rapid?) rate? We also couldn't help but wonder if she rode her bike there given the whole nature theme.
We’re thinking that’s definitely Kathy’s Red Velvet Vodka coming out of the watering can. And if that’s the case, is her business beginning to bloom at a rapid (too rapid?) rate? We also couldn’t help but wonder if she rode her bike there given the whole nature theme.
First and most importantly, who thought it was a good idea to put these women together and give them a GIANT KNIFE? Seriously, did no one else watch the reunion? The question we're all wondering: what does the J stand for? Is it Jacqueline? Teresa's Joe? Joe Gorga? We've never been so frustrated by the fact that three different people on the show have J names. And then notice all the cracks in the bark that make up the heart. Teresa's got fractured relationships with all three of these people, so that doesn't help narrow it down. Also note how the letters are pointing away from each other. Perhaps they're drifting apart, but love is keeping them together.
First and most importantly, who thought it was a good idea to put these women together and give them a GIANT KNIFE? Seriously, did no one else watch the reunion? The question we’re all wondering: what does the J stand for? Is it Jacqueline? Teresa’s Joe? Joe Gorga? We’ve never been so frustrated by the fact that three different people on the show have J names. And then notice all the cracks in the bark that make up the heart. Teresa’s got fractured relationships with all three of these people, so that doesn’t help narrow it down. Also note how the letters are pointing away from each other. Perhaps they’re drifting apart, but love is keeping them together.
Why is the tree holding back family? Here's our conspiracy theory: the tree represents paper, which represents magazines, which represents tabloids, which hearkens back to the whole Teresa tabloid debacle of last season. Will this issue play a role in the new season?
Why is the tree holding back family? Here’s our conspiracy theory: the tree represents paper, which represents magazines, which represents tabloids, which hearkens back to the whole Teresa tabloid debacle of last season. Will this issue play a role in the new season?
Is Caroline serving Abby Lee Miller realness because she's starting a dance school? More likely her book tour is just taking her to Pittsburgh if we had to guess. Why is Caroline throwing the tree so much shade? Does it represent Teresa's cookbook? Or is she really opposed to defacing trees? We think it's a safe bet to assume she's got some strong opinions about what Teresa's doing this season.
Is Caroline serving Abby Lee Miller realness because she’s starting a dance school? More likely her book tour is just taking her to Pittsburgh if we had to guess. Why is Caroline throwing the tree so much shade? Does it represent Teresa’s cookbook? Or is she really opposed to defacing trees? We think it’s a safe bet to assume she’s got some strong opinions about what Teresa’s doing this season.

What is YOUR analysis of the women in these photos?

Credit: Bravo

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10 Replies to “RHONJ Season 5 Storyline Analysis!”

  1. Jaco looks like she’s stabbing someone in that shot / not too appropriate considering her violence problems these days. Caroline – as usual – has to be the know-it-all negative clown. Her book is sinking so far – didn’t we all see that coming. The producers just don’t get it. With these shows – the raw reality with the truth would be praised and ratings gold. Why do they continue all the fake crap. It is just such a joke with innocent grandparents and children being humiliated and exploited – so not cool.

  2. The pictures were self-explanatory. So let the hair pulling and the table flipping of grown women, who are not embarrassed by their actions, begin!

  3. Ugggg what is going on? I changed my email because last time A comment went through but then I got a reply then posted — it then said again comment in moderation”
    It is hard to have a conversation when you have to wait for your comment posted everytime, you would get more people and traffic. I digress, it is your blog u can do what you want. But I won’t bother commenting, this is just weird.

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