Well we are about half done with this season (one can hope) and hereâ€™s what weâ€™ve learned so far:
1) Jackets are not for arms anymore. Â Jackets are shoulder candy meant to dangle ever-s0-gracefully off oneâ€™s shoulders whilst they are dining, whining, performing or informing,
2) Dorit has gotten out her â€˜A Dummies Guide to Being a Season Two Housewifeâ€™ (a barely-used copy lent to her by Kelly Dodd) and is following the steps copiously: Â A) Be ready to jab the new girl. Â For NO reason except your just grateful youâ€™re not the new girl. B) Up your game with a glam squad. < However Doritâ€™s glam squad compared to Team Mikey and East Coast Housewives primpers Julius and Priscilla appears to be secured via a Groupon for Priv.>. Â I hearby Â sentence whomever conceptualized her coconut oil wet-head look to a life of bad skin and thin hair for committing such heinous beauty crimes. Â C) Â Interns! Â Get some interns. Â Interns make you sound important and they are built-in friends. See: Bethenny. Â Interns make your fake company sound real. Â I mean câ€™mon… Are we really gonna see Dorit swimwear in Nordstrom ever? Â Right about the same time She Be Sherree and Sonjaâ€™s restaurant launch….
Yes, Dorit Lemel Kemsley is having quite a season isnâ€™t she? She is knocking shit over faster than Arya Stark adds names to her list. Â As Andy Â said on radio yesterday â€œsheâ€™s good for television.â€ Â Presumably because people tune in to either love or hate her. Â Last year, Â I concurred that she was a good cast for just that reason, even though I personally did not like her. Â This year, she makes me want to turn it off. Â Itâ€™s so played. Â Can she really be that extra and non self-aware? Â OH also â€” hereâ€™s how you speak Dorito (the native language of Connecticut via Israel and The Valley by way of Wales). Â Anytime a word ends in â€œDâ€ Â say it with a Â â€œTâ€ Â Try it! Itâ€™s fun: â€œKyle, thatâ€™s not what you Â saiT.â€ Â â€œLeeeesa, you totally reaT into what I was meaningâ€. Now you sound just like her. Lucky you.
Then I had an epiphany. Â Maybe sheâ€™s a reallllly good actress? Â Maybe just maybe Dorit GETS the national joke that is being played on all of us…that is herself. Â Maybe, much like Kelley Anne Conway, sheâ€™s willing to be the bull in a fake fur shop JUST to be in the show and distract from the 101 other real problems that could be discussed…? Â Perhaps she doesnâ€™t actually care which snifter, flute or stem she sips from and does have the manners to know that real cultured people donâ€™t point out glassware rules or make loud announcements as to how they will participate in someoneâ€™s event (or not). Â Maybe she is just next-level Oscar-worthy great and is single-handedly trying to save the show?
Or maybe I slammed Tide Pods for breakfast and am going crazier than Vickiâ€™s staring at a Ford Econoline.
What do you think? Â Is she totally out of bounds this year or does she still deserve her diamond?
â€”- Jill Lemel Frankel-Zarin Umansky Hickey, who apologizes that her list only ended up including 2 bullet points. Â The Dorit pondering got me so down a worm hole that I couldnâ€™t get back. Â (Much like Dorit has done to the rest of the women (and US) the first 11 episodes of S8…)