LuAnn de Lesseps Talks Forgiveness


LuAnn de Lesseps is talking about forgiveness in her blog this week and sharing with viewers how she was able to forgive her fiancé Tom for kissing another woman in public. She insists that Tom is a good man and explains how she got through this painful time.

“If you can’t forgive someone you love, then who can you forgive? I was very hurt when Bethenny shared with me, after showing the other girls, the photo of Tom at the Regency. It took me some time to pull myself together after the initial shock. My gut reaction was to think about how this looked to my friends and family, and it wasn’t until I had time to think that I began to understand what I was feeling. We all make mistakes, and some we make in private and others we make for the world to see. After I found out about what Tom had done, I had to dig deep within myself to find the love to forgive, but I did. I forgave him shortly after reuniting back in New York. Was it easy? No way. Am I glad I did? Absolutely. We are still engaged and are finalizing our New Year’s Eve wedding plans. He’s a good man and we love each other. We will stand the test of time regardless of what those women try to do to ruin our happiness.

As this season draws to a close, I want you all to know how much I appreciate the love and support you’ve shown me through the years on this show. I’m optimistic about my future, and I know that regardless of what happens in life, Tom and I will always love each other. So if you take anything away from this season, it’s not the problems that arise in our relationships, it’s how we deal with them when they arise that defines us. So love without fear and forgive without regrets.”

Photo Credit: Bravo


54 Replies to “LuAnn de Lesseps Talks Forgiveness”

  1. Wow. She’s a “wee” bit co-dependent. Sounds like she has this “I’ve been a victim before” act down pat. Yes Lu, brush it under the rug, forgive poor creepy Tom for mashing all over some chick (and blame her by the way) a week after you are engaged. Blame everyone else. Let it go. You are another one that was given an opportunity to do good by being a tv show and instead, you are an embarrassment to women everywhere.

    1. Yes, I was just waiting for the part where she said the old GF or whoever, was ready and willing to see him through this fictional fight they had and into her CLUTCHES. God, does she really think most of us women that are listening swallow that BS? If you can’t forgive someone you love, who can you forgive? ( Insert incredulous voice ) Seriously after 2 months this is such a deep love that he is forgiven for doing that, and doing it right where it would embarrass her the most. He wants on this show, he wants to be spoke about in connection to this show, he doesn’t care how to make that happen. What he seems to forget is that he is a bald ( Not an insult to bald men ) aging guy who pretends he has money and goes after rich women. The GF Ramona was speaking of that he texted daily must have been the “very rich” one Luann mentioned at the pinata party. Yeah, he wanted HER back. She probably saw through his scheme. Now he’s fund the perfect MARK.

      1. Yes, he found Luann ready, willing and able. She even takes all the BS he gives her and comes back smiling. That other gf was just too irresistible, so it was her fault and not Tom’s that he just had to makeout with her for hours. She must think we are all idiots. Luann sure is acting like one with all the crap she is spewing.

        1. Can we all just agree that she is and HAS been so desperate in the past & present, she will DO and SAY anything to keep this engagement moving forward to her wedding? What I find hilarious is, she is going to wear a white gown & veil b/c Tom has never been married. OMG, gag, gag, gag. SHE has been and she certainly isn’t pure or virginal, so I guess she can bend the etiquette rules any way she wants to so long as it suits her. Bethenny was already in Miami when she got the photos of Tom so how could she possibly have set it up? She doesn’t even know this guy. Lu needs to take her head out of her a** or Tom’s cr*tch and smell the coffee (excuse the pun!).

            1. Isn’t she absolutely disgusting – wearing a white dress and veil, really LuAnn???!!! Perhaps she should go refer to her etiquette book or maybe go look up what the REAL doyenne of Etiquette, Emily Post, has to say about this. What is wrong with wearing an off white dress and a pretty hat??? Really, anything really bridal doesn’t look good on any woman over 50! I think she has thrown caution to the wind and is trying to make this ceremony “the event” of the year. I think she had better go back and consult the experts on what is and what is not acceptable for people in her age and status bracket. I’m not meaning that people in this age bracket shouldn’t have the wedding of their dreams, but most normal people would be a little more discreet and not want to make a spectacle of themselves, but apparently, not these two. Her poor children…………OMG.

              1. I don’t think Luann is like most women in the least, and she tries to stick out and be the center of attention. She may even like that we are discussing her, positively or negatively, since she is still getting the attention she craves. She will wear a white dress, because she thinks that her soulmate, Tom, deserves a lily white image of a wife, since it is his first wedding and hopefully his last. Whatever. It does not matter to me.
                Honestly, I think we make to much out of this. I wore an ivory wedding dress, since I was talked into it by the woman at the bridal place since I was in my later 20s and she assumed I was not virginal..or something. She kept pushing me away from the white ones. It was weird, but in the end, I actually loved the dress I bought, and to me the dress did not mean a thing to me, as much as just getting married to the man I loved. I actually bought a sample dress ( I wore the size of the samples) that was gorgeous and a great bargain, but the alterations cost more than the dress itself, though still it was beautiful. I never cared for a wedding, really, and I had a quite small one that I paid for all by myself. My mom passed the year prior. It was hard to celebrate anything for me, and I really wanted a wedding on a beach in a tropical location…really, but I did what the future spouse wanted…not me.

                I think Luann can wear a yellow “diamond” and a white dress if she wants, and she can have a huge wedding and reception, but it won’t change the man she marries, if it is still Tom with her, and she will have to live with him once all the celebrating is over. She may be more into the actual wedding now than anything else and just overwhelmed that she found someone she connects with, like a “soulmate”. I do hope that for her sake, even though I find her annoying and self absorbed, that she does find true love and lives happily ever after.

                1. Personally, I think she is doing it more for herself than Tom. I think we have all seen that when she & the Count were married, she wore blue jeans, white tee shirt and a blazer. OK, so be it then. And, yes, she is craving attention, be it negative or positive. That being said, she doesn’t really need to call attention to herself, she definitely stands out in a crown!!!

            2. I meant I agree with the last part, not the virginal white stuff…but getting her head out of…..the rest that you wrote really. I think she is delusional..yes.

              1. I don’t know how to put emoticons in my comments either! So, we can just use the “old school” emoticons that we are familiar with. Hugs to you sweetie and have a great week.

  2. I don’t think Bethenny was trying to hurt you LUANN. She was merely trying to show you that perhaps this man is not all that you have made him out to be. You sure seem to be turning the “other cheek” a lot lately or making excuses for this guy. Not sure he is really worth it. All I can say is………get a pre-nup and lock up your checkbook. I don’t think the Count will find it very amusing if he ends up supporting him. He seems to be a playa from the word go. You can’t keep blaming his actions on other people!

    1. When Luann said “what all these women try to do to ruin our happiness” I wasn’t surprised. Sonja told her the truth. Ramona told her the truth. Bethenny told her the truth. Sonja was the only one without proof. Luann must be tortured inside to constantly need assurance. Many times as I look back, things like Bethenny’s BD party when B first came back. Luann said to Sonja she was a man magnet. Sonja returned the compliment, Luann said “I was hoping you would return the compliment.” The only thing transparent about Luann is her not so subtle way of fishing for compliments. Everything else, accept her beautiful kids, is a lie.

      1. Everyone has told her the truth, she just doesn’t want to accept it or believe it. Does she need a fricking anvil to fall on her head??????!!!!! At this point all one can say is, you deserve what you get and hope it sustains you through your old age!

  3. “We will stand the test of time.” What? The ‘test’ didn’t last much longer than the time it takes for a teacher to say, “Get you #2 pencils out.” She protests way too much.

  4. There is no way she should break her engagement because of Bethany’s machinations and drunk kissing. The person trying to manipulate and humiliate Luann here is Bethany. Many of the fans have been conned. Tom was falling down drunk. According to Bethany,’ He was so drunk he probably did not know or remember what he was doing.’ Bethany knew the woman. He was set up. People when that drunk do just that kind of thing. I’ve done it myself. Bethany hates Luann and has stated it loudly and clearly. No one goes that far to stalk and investigate a ‘friends ‘ finance’. She called Luann a whore and a f*** doll. She told all of the other women and laughed at Luann. Get real. It is unfortunate when fans turn on the target of Bethany’s evil.

    1. Her friend knew her, not Bethenny. And I’ve been drunk as well, and gave not tried to kiss someone else besides my husband.

      1. Bethany stated when threatening to call Tom that she knew the woman and Luann. I drunk kissed someone around the corner at one of my local bars when mad at my husband. Most people would not leave someone for that. Especially, if your enemy set it up. Get real. Bethany just knew she would break up that engagement. It was her intent to ruin Luann’s happiness and Luann would be a fool to follow.

      2. Thank you for that. I think most of us have been “drunk or tipsy” in our lifetimes and haven’t mugged down on someone else’s man!

    2. Oh, yeah, poor Luann. She has been f*****g 20 year olds since day one. In one of the first seasons her, Ramona and Bethenny did a charity event where Bethenny cooked a bunch of healthy food for a group of women with cancer at this home like place the sick women were staying, and this very discussion was going on THEN. So, all of a sudden, years later, Tom sucking face in front of the whole of Manhattan society is machinations of Bethenny’s? Wow. Right after Bethenny told Luann and the girls came in Bethenny’s room, Ramona said she had now heard from one of her New York friends already, and that all of New York knew. I recall his first appearance on this show, in season 1 or 2, I will have to look, where he went right over to the ladies Ramona was with in a bar, no doubt because there was a camera crew, and asked them if they were the supermodels from downstairs. Ramona’s friend with the long, dark hair said “Yes.’ Tom proceeded to say something flattering to her and then said he thought Ramona was “lazy” in her life. They both said “LAZY, LAZY, YOU ARE CALLING MY FRIEND ( ME ) LAZY? ) So, I guess he started with Sonja about then and didn’t put a ring on it because she wanted a friends with benefits situation, not a public one. So, he watches and waits until he sees Luann come to stay at Sonja’s and Sonja no doubt told him her friend wanted to be married again. I can practically SEE the entire thing. He is the one who had “machinations.” That old saying “Don’t k**l the messenger” rings so true here.
      How would everyone have liked that to go down. It happened, and we would have definitely heard of it on this very blog, but without any connection to the show, and we would have ( or I would have ) been pissed off that we didn’t get to see the real deal on the show. Bethenny, in effect, just saved Luann’s job, Sonja’s too maybe. And Luann is going to need her job when she realizes just how much of Tom’s money isn’t real. Her “soul mate” will drain her and she will allow it smiling, because she will be able to say she “forgave without regret” Gag.

  5. I think Bethenny did the right thing. If Luann is about forgiveness, then why didn’t she forgive the other ladies? Instead she shot the messenger. She should have told the ladies her & Tom worked it out. Instead she starting blaming all of them.

    1. The messenger was stalking and setting up Tom. Tom is a fool for being entrapped but he was a means to an end. The purpose was to humiliate and hurt Luann. Bethany trolled that couple with evil intent. She wasn’t just the messenger, she was the creator. She and Tom were set up by hateful Bethany. The others enjoyed and laughed at Luann’s embarrassment and pain. They set out to hurt Luann and reveled in that hurt. Tom was a drunk and a hapless dope, who did not set out to be part of Luann’s humiliation.

      1. 3D and Sandy you two are the historians here, you both write so well. Can you two respond to this woman because I am so upset I can’t do it without rambling incoherantly.

        1. Oh! Hi, Aunt Bee. I just wrote my post and then saw this. Hahahahahahahahaha. Anyone who believes Bethenny set this up, for real, believes in witches and warlocks too. Bethenny must be very, very powerful to have known that that very night, while she was actually, physically, in Miami, that Luann would pretend she had a fight with Tom ( after the fact ) and paid this old GF of Tom’s, considering also the fact she hasn’t met Tom, much less his lengthy string of marks, to sit on that very bar stool and wait????? Hmmmm, how many nights did she have to sit there, I wonder. And, AND, I guess that also means that she set Sonja and Tom’s 10 year relationship up, being she is the all powerful. Plus, oh, I just realized, she must have been the one who talked Luann into giving up her apartment on the West Side to go live with Sonja too! Oh, WAIT!!!! She did’t KNOW Sonja until season 3 which BTW, wasn’t ten years ago. This hasn’t even been ON for ten years.
          Wow, Now I REALLY want to meet her. Someone here asked me if I was “obsessed” with Bethenny because I had defended her. Hhmmmm, yes, now, it is true. I really, REALLY want to meet this all powerful woman. How does she do it? 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

      2. Oh, poor Tom. Forgive him because he knows not what he does…sure…right?! A man engaged goes out to a place he frequents (is a regular) with his betrothed and has a makeout session for hours with a former girlfriend. That is not by accident, no way, no how. Someone happens to notice who knows Bethenny. That is not impossible. Even the employees knew what was happening. Bethenny doublechecked before she took this information to Luann. She talked it over, debating whether ir not to do it, but she thought that if the situation was reversed, she would want to know if her soon to be husband was fooling around with another. Wouldn’t you?

        Yes, Bethenny is an in your face kind of person who comes on strong a lot of the time, but she approached Luanne wearing kid gloves…gently and with concern. Bethenny knows she is not a best friend but she considered Luann a friend and friends are concerned about one another in the world I live in anyway. She did the right thing. Shooting the messenger is what Luann did.
        Sure she was in shock, and at the moment may have acted irrationally by being upset eith Bethenny, but her Tom was at fault and not Bethenny!? Bethenny, as I have said before, bursted her bubble, since Lu was on cloud nine, in her own world of being in love with a soulmate, but Tom, a guy who slept around and dated others, including other Housewives, is disrespectful of Luanne, and he screwed up big time!
        If Luanne had any real self respect, she would not just take Tom for his word, since he is clearly a liar. She seems very desperate. Does this guy have that much appeal. What is it?
        I honestly was happy for her until all the s…t hit the fan, even though Tom dated Ramona and slept with Sonja for years. I felt sorry for Luann, but she is her own worst enemy, really. She is making choices she may regret in a very big way. She will have no friends and Tom will still run around. He has been a playboy nearly all of his life, so why would he marry now and be with one…doibtful, really.
        Don’t shoot the messenger. That is absolutely positively ridiculous. Luann needs therapy.

        1. I meant it is “doubtful” that Tom would stay with one person for very long, given that he has been single for a very long time and has never committed to anyone before, and already has been fooling around. Luanne got engaged shortly after Tom slept with Sonja, really. What is wrong with that picture? Why does this guy like Real Housewives? Does he want to be on TV? What gives? I don’t know who is more delusional….

          1. I actually believe that Sonja fudged the dates for Luann. When Luann first told her and Sonja kept saying, “Right AFTER Thanksgiving, right?” If Bethenny had simply deleted this from her phone, never told anyone, we wouldn’t have gotten to see it on the show. That is what this show IS. IMO, she saved Luann’s job, ( which she is going to need ) and maybe Sonja’s too.
            The funny thing is, Sandy, is that I have never thought Luann was even attractive, much less pretty. I think she is rather ugly actually, physically & all the way to her insides. SHE thinks a lot of herself, maybe because a count from a country that no longer has that title chose her, married her and gave her children. She has always thought a LOT of herself, her position. Right up to the yacht, when Dorinda said goodnight to Sonja, and Luann said “Don’t say goodnight, just disappear, like ELEGANT people do.” Who the hell says something like that? Wow, I guess we learn something every damn day. I did not know, for example, that when one is on a yacht only, it is the “elegant” thing to disappear. What a uppity bitch. That is what she has always been, and what she will always be.

            1. Disappearing is elegant to Luann…but it sounds like bad behavior to me. Luann is delusional. She became a big snob when she married into money, and she thinks she knows it all.
              I really would love to know what her children think of their mother’s behavior. Captain Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp lookalike comes to mind. What ever happened to Jacques…. Luann needs help. She is not getting any younger, I know, she has a deep voice, is quite talli and she isn’t every man’s idea of sexy, and I think she is settling for a user.

              1. She will settle for anything that has the “right” equipment and resembles a male. Jacques wanted to have children & she considered getting pregnant……..really???? I think she is a little old to have considered that, but again, anything to keep a man. And, if she has to pay their way, she will do it. She came from nothing, married into money and is now living off RHONY salary and the Count’s alimony. Not sure she has ever earned her own money! From the time she left home & moved to Italy, she has always been living with a man. She truly is pathetic.

                1. She seemed to be attracted to very wealthy men in her youth, now matter how old. She did marry a very wealthy man with a title even. Now, she may be settling, though I am not quite sure how wealthy her new man happens to be. Luann seemed to be going through some sort of mid life/older crisis, sleeping with men (some much younger) wherever and whenever she liked and laughing about it. If she had an open marriage before all of this, I don’t think it was from the start, but maybe she just wanted a younger guy after marrying a much older man.
                  I think Tom has problems…and Luann is too much of a risk taker with so many men. Maybe Tom is her match since he is like her in that way…so many partners and probably nympho?
                  I liked Jacques.

                  1. See Sandy, we don’t always disagree. I liked Jacques too, but he was young and wanted a family of his own. I don’t think LuAnn was capable of giving him that. With Tom, no one has said what he does in the way of occupation. Right now, it looks like he just attaches himself to wealthy women. Maybe LuAnn has money to burn, I have no idea. I just hope she wakes up before he takes her for a pretty penny. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt here, that she would certainly notice her money flying out the window and put an end to his nonsense b4 it is all gone. Yes, she has attached herself to wealthy men her entire life, finally married one and he seemed to want to have the freedom to see other women in addition to being married. I would love to see LuAnn find someone educated, smart, financially independent and go with that person rather than settling for a womanizer who seems to want to continue with his single lifestyle. Perhaps we or I guess I mean “I” should give him the benefit of the doubt here and let him prove himself b4 being a naysayer about this union.

                    1. If it wasn’t for all the Housewives Tom has dated and then this last smooching session I would feel better about Tom, but something is not right with this man. He seems to want to be on TV anyway he can, and gives off the wrong vibe. He was never married, and well, there may be a reason why he never settled down.

                    2. I couldn’t agree more………..something is 100% off with this guy. And, he does give off a creepy vibe! Methinks he is attempting to ingratiate himself onto the show. Had they wanted him, Sonja or Ramona could have helped him. He seems to be working his way through the housewives and LuAnn was his last ditch effort. Dorinda, Jules, Carol and Bethenny would never give him a second look. Well, Dora might if she wasn’t with John. Afterall, she did introduce them!

            2. She is NOT pretty…..just look at the photo under this caption of “forgiveness”. She is big, gawky and that is probably how she earned herself the title, “LUMAN” in previous years. If she was such a “catch” why did the Count find it necessary to be with other women? I think she has too high an opinion of herself and she is the only one who thinks she is superior to the others. She has always had to insert herself into a situation when one of the others has found someone to talk to. She barges right in there to make her presence known. She is just obnoxious and it gets tiring to watch her pretend to be this “elegant” person when she isn’t!

              1. Not for anything, Karen, but men have strayed who have had gorgeous wives, for women who were not attractive. Even Prince Charles was cheating on Lady Diana with Camilla who was and is in no way attractive to most of us. I am no fan of Luann or Lumann. She does have a deep voice for a woman, and she has a big presence, however, what the Count did was his choice. He left her for another woman. He had several marriages. I do not know the details. He did at one time marry Luann, so he must have found her attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
                People change. Things happen. They did have children, and Luann seemed happy to live the life she did when she was married. We don’t know what her marriage was like other than they seemed to not be faithful to each other toward the end, anyway, and lived that way for a time, with it being consensual.
                Dorinda seems to like John and her daughter called Dorinda a chubby chaser. Some people like that “teddy bear” look. Some like women who are quite big or even as thin as Jules.
                I enjoy reading your posts Karen, even if we are not in full agreement about everything. I do think Luann was wrong to despise Bethenny for telling her about Tom. Tom was in the wrong. 😉

                1. Oh Sandy, you are such a dear. You play the perfect “devil’s advocate” to me. I know all about cheating. I was married to a man who cheated on me left & right. I was just too naive to acknowledge it. Probably b/c I also had children with him and didn’t want to disrupt our family life. Beauty & attraction to another is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. I don’t mean that LuAnn is ugly or John is ugly, I just think the bloom is off LuAnn’s rose and wish she would just age gracefully. As for John, he seems to make Dorinda happy and he gives her her space. That is a rare thing today. I think he realizes that she doesn’t really “need” him for anything as she can provide for herself quite nicely and comfortably.

                  1. Karen. I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. I agree about Luann being older and all the rest. 🙂

      3. Oh sure. Do you really believe that? Wow. As of 2013, 8.406 MILLION people live in New York City. Bethenny runs a huge company, has a young daughter, her own boyfriend, plus she has a life & has been very ill. But…. she took the time to find someone, knowing Luann was going to pretend to have a fight that very night at the Regency, a place she herself does not frequent, sent her there, ( let’s also not forget she was in Miami herself at the time) someone she must have known, even though SHE HERSELF has never even MET Tom, to sit on that very bar stool and wait for Tom to get shit faced and be there to get him in her “clutches.” Wow, she must be very, very powerful.

    1. That didn’t make any sense. Dorinda is the maid of honor. I think Tom wanted to vet his side of the events. She understood that to be a cover up but I don’t think it was. Obviously they worked that out.

  6. Bethenny wouldn’t go to the trouble to set Tom up just to hurt LuAnn. How do you explain Luann and Tom trying to use Dorinda to spin his drunken make out session? Luann is, as she said before leaving B’s party, living in a bubble. Pathetic.

    1. OMG, what a perfect description of this relationship. Since LuAnn is going in this blindly and is so “forgiving” and everything that happened “BL” (b4 Lu), hopefully she won’t regret getting into another open relationship. You reap what you sow Lu! Good luck, u r going to need it.

  7. The both of them are full of horse manure, lol. I have to laugh because now this entire thing is just ludicrous. So your man goes out and falls into the throat, er, um CLUTCHES of another woman after a tiff, before you’re even married? Good gawd, after the nuptials they’d better not disagree over anything beyond the appropriate price to pay eggs or what scent of air freshener to use, because anything deeper than that who knows what Tom will fall into next, and I’m not referring to another woman’s clutching arms.

    1. What a perfectly delightful post Bon Vivant. Your analogies are “right on”. These 2 deserve one another. I think personally, Tom is blinded by LuAnn’s net worth of $15 million. So, Rompers has found out he works at a printing place that is worth $50M. That is the company’s net worth, NOT his. I wonder if she is going to “look the other way”, after they are married???!!!???

      1. I think Lu’s biggest problem is she thinks she is still 20 and acting even younger. Her giddiness is driving me nuts – but nothing unusual there – everything she does drives me nuts.

        1. Aunt Bee, you are being too kind. Her giddiness is more like a hormone overloaded teenager and it is really too much and beyond annoying (whatever that would be)!! I still am trying to get over her wearing a white dress & veil. Not only that, I believe she stated that she is changing her dress 3 times. Are you kidding me……… have lived this long and don’t know how to select an appropriate dress?? C’mon Lu, go and re-read your etiquette book you silly, silly woman.

          1. Karen W I don’t know how to put emoticons on my comment so just let me XXOOXX to you.
            I agree with all your comments and I agree about the dress and veil.

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