Heather Dubrow Clears Up Divorce Rumors


Heather Dubrow is taking to her Bravo Blog to clear up rumors about her marriage after the last episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County aired. Heather says her fight on-camera with Terry is a normal thing couples go through, and she loves her husband very much. Read why Heather says she got so upset below!

Heather writes, “This is a hard scene for me to watch for many reasons. Terry is a guy who likes to joke around a lot, which is great. Contrary to what you see on the show, I think he’s very funny and we laugh a lot. However, like in all relationships, we go through times where it’s not working. The jokes are repeatedly at my expense.

I freely admit I am overly sensitive and should allow more things to roll off my back. I’m just not built that way. As my partner in life, I would hope that Terry would lighten up on me if he knows it bothers me so much. Unfortunately, I had had enough at dinner that night. I was so excited about my guest star role, and I thought Terry would be in the “anything you need” mode. It’s only five days of helping out. Not a big deal. I just didn’t want to hear the jokes anymore. Also, involving the kids to me is a mistake.

I am a very hands-on mother. I am very busy raising my kids and taking care of husband and our home. Yes, I have help. But it’s called “help,” not “do.”

I don’t do very much for myself by way of alone time, girls’ trips, etc. except for what you’ve seen on the show.

I just wanted Terry to support me and be excited for me and make it about me for a change. Because it hasn’t been in a very long time.

I don’t regret my decision to stay home with my kids, but having an opportunity for five days to feel like my old self again and be creative is priceless.

I love my husband very much. We have been together for 16 and a half years. This is reality. We all have ebbs and flows in our relationships. You are seeing a piece of our lives this season. I wish you could see more of a complete picture. We are also loving and fun together. Silly, happy, thoughtful, and kind to each other.

Not as fun to watch as the bickering moments I suppose. However it’s all these moments that make up a relationship. They are not all pretty. This is one of those. .

P.S. I showed this to Terry before sending in to Bravotv.com and this was Terry’s text back when I asked him what he thought: “Brilliant, honest, real: exactly what I would expect from you. I love it. I love you.””

Photo Credit: Bravo


51 Replies to “Heather Dubrow Clears Up Divorce Rumors”

  1. Heather just shut up. To take your children – with help by the way – to the pumpkin patch and act like you entertained 30 kids all day is just pathetic. If you need a sympathetic reaction – it ain’t happening – you suck. As far as your marriage – whatever. We all know this is your “storyline” this season, WEAK. Your “acting career” is lacking and to put your family on reality tv is sad. You have 4 adorable kids. Do you even think that restarsunt scene was cool or entertaining – NO. First, help your damn kids with their homework yourself – and a restaraunt with noise/distractions is just stupid. You are a self-centered, unattractive ICE Queen and you whine over the silliest crap. There are mothers with REAL problems – you are pathetic.

    1. It is a shame for everyone to become judge and jury on another couples lives. Those who are perfect, let them throw the first stone. Jesus said it best to those judging another … John 8:7 (KJV)
      “So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” All of you ladies bashing heather for being an ice queen need to look in the mirror. We all at times are unbearable. Heather I have a wonderful sermon I think you will enjoy and even learn from. Anyone who struggle at times in their marriage please go to this website and listen to the great message. Check out this sermon on SermonAudio.com http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?m=t&s=217131152395 Enjoy

      1. No Heather needs to read the scripture about casting stones. There is also plenty of scripture about marriage. But I doubt that’s going to happen since Heather is Jewish.

      2. Jenna. Heather is Jewish. As well intentioned as I’m sure you are, offering to share your Jesus message with her is not the right audience. And these HW shows are like sports for women that don’t like sports. The Monday morning quarterbacking is part of why these women can get the big bucks.


  2. Sorry. I’m not buying it. But of course he responded that way. He knows one way to stay out of her cross hairs, and that’s to grovel.

  3. WOW! People are so harsh! I think your response was perfect Heather. Everyone has “moments” your marriage is a lot like my marriage and my husband and I love eachother very much , it just works for us. Doesnt matter what anyone else says or thinks its only about you and your family.
    You can notice this whole season that Bravo is focusing on the two of you arguging, its a story line that people can run with and thats it.

    1. I completely agree! Love Heather, love their real moments, and I love her REAL responses. Terry is similar to my guy, and I would have reacted the same way. You can love a jokester…but sometimes, just sometimes, you need them to take you seriously, and make it about you, not about their jokes.

  4. Some marriages are healthier than others. In my opinion, this was a letter directed to Terry, not to the audience. I don’t believe Heather and Terry have the healthiest way of communicating while I do believe they love eachother. The above which she “P.S.’d” Terry was too personal for us. Of course he agreed wholeheartedly that she post it. I doubt his disagreement wouldn’t be welcome and he’d pay the price. He also loves her and wants her happy. No we don’t know the whole story but cameras don’t lie. I’d be thrilled to see her fawn over Terry for a change, kowtow and agree to every little thing she suggests but it would be hard to believe.

    Give it a try Heather. One week; one day; just bit your tongue. Your “wisdom” comes across as shrew like.

    However, it looks to me like everything is about Heather, not Terry. She was hoping he would be in the “anything you want” mode is what she said. That sounds like a woman who is used to getting her way and perhaps he is acting up on national television for a reason; she is dumbfounded it appears.

    I do think he should more hands on with the children. We don’t know how four children were conceived without mutual agreement and never will. But, it’s best for the kids, their relationship and the marriage if Terry didn’t act like his responsibilities to the family were primarily to bring home a paycheck so I feel for her there. I think that’s where all this hostility is coming from.

    1. Barb, I think your assessment of their dynamic is very insightful, although I don’t know whether anybody can know if they “love” each other or not. A lot of things hold marriages together that have nothing to do with love. But I think his comments about not being as hands-on with the kids aren’t necessarily true. He may be just making those flippantly, or it may be his way of pretending he has some control in that marriage. If you watch those kids with him they are more comfortable than they are with her. I’ve noticed a few times when Heather is holding the toddler that the child squirms and fusses and dives for her dad’s arms. That doesn’t seem like a response to a distant dad.

      1. I think I agree with you, speaking of insightful! Those are likely flippant comments to appear in control. She buys it and it creates more conflict. Yes the children certainly do seem to be close to dad; but I will say that since they are with mom all day, any moment with dad will be more special, any snippet of attention will be soaked up; that’s been my own personal experience.

        I really didn’t like the scene in the car when Heather was teasing her daughter; it was cruel! The little girl seemed so frustrated and Heather continued on, laughing, teasing her with the wordplay. Gotta wonder what else goes on without cameras. I’m not saying she is a horrible mother but her frustration bleeds through and kids are sensitive.

  5. Pipe down Heather! You are way to critical of your husband. I feel sorry for a man that’s always apologizing. You are acting like a high school girl, getting all extra over nothing. Maybe you should get something to eat to calm your nerves…way too skinny.

  6. IM SORRY BUT everyone leave her alone i know i may not like her as much but they are not getting a divorce they have a different marriage that at times i feel like is hard to watch cuz i cringe but at the end of the day tv amplifies so much of our issues u would be surprised. im sure their fine

    1. “Everyone leave her alone?” We are all free to comment here and nobody is telling you to shut up. State your case freely and everybody else will too.

      None of us truly know what the reality is of this marriage; time will tell. Heather isn’t stupid, but she is an actress. She knows she is on TV.

      If she snatches up a plumb role though, I will venture a guess she is gone…..just a guess. Maybe that’s another fear of Terry’s.

      1. did i ruffle your feathers?
        i said everyone leave her alone in a way that i meant hey lets try to look at another side of this. i was not telling anyone to shut up? where did i say that? next time instead of speaking out of irritation you should maybe calm down take a look at the comment and then answer me. im sure your educated =)

        1. If YOU’RE trying to talk about someone and use the term ‘YOU’RE educated’, you might want to use the right YOU’RE, nor YOUR. And maybe a smattering of capital letters to start a sentence. Just saying.

          1. Thank you, lol! Just what I thought. Plus I thought her comment was trying to shut down any commentary that fails to flatter. This forum in neither for fawning or to condemn – it’s to give opinions whatever they are! I think Terry is dumb like a fox. Remember his insisting over lunch to tell the group he had “used the d word?” Her discomfort and whispered stop were obvious. His big I’m so bad confession was contrived to serving up a sort of *don’t think I’m a foolish, powerless man in that marriage.*
            Heather can insist all she likes divorce is not an option, the law will not allow you to force someone to stay in a marriage! There’s no ownership over your partner.
            He made it clear to the world he put her in check privately and isn’t as henpecked as the situation appears. I think he already planned to follow up with the big apology with a card over dinner – small price to pay – he gave her an emotional shake up over her meanness, then gets kudos for being a repentant sweetie. She’s met her match in him!
            And for all that I enjoy him, Terry’s charismatic and unabashedly working the series to his benefit!

        2. “did i ruffle your feathers?” What does that question mean? I don’t understand it. “i was not telling anyone to shut up?” Is a statement but appears in the form of a question and isn’t a correctly capitalized sentence. I am really not certain who is irritated here but I know it isn’t me. I will also tell you that I don’t need to answer you deonn. Yes, I am educated.

          Mostly, I feel amused at the personal direction certainly people take in their posts; I for one am very calm. “Everyone leave her alone” sounds like a command. I don’t argue with anyone, and I won’t be commanded. If you meant “let’s look at the other side of this” then it might help to phrase it that way. I don’t really care which side you are looking at. I am looking at both, don’t assume I am not based upon the fact that my side differs from your side.

  7. as you said Heather, “A man is known by the company he keeps”. I look at Tamara and know what to expect from you.

    1. Speaking of the company a man keeps, I think it’s a good idea to keep an idea on Eddie. I don’t feel comfortable with it.

      1. Whoops. An “eye” on Eddie; not an idea. True colors are starting to show with both of them; blooms off the rose. Apparently they are still ok and perhaps they’ll make it but he seems tired of her negativity.

  8. They’re another Paul and Adrienne. I like Terry, Heather is a b this year. Real moms and dads, in real working families, don’t make their kids take homework when they’re eating out. Are you kidding me? Shouldn’t have even discussed their business in front of the kids. They’re little too, just enjoy them. What a diva she is. You can tell she’s over Terry, and not in love with him anymore. Just like Adrienne, it shows in how they treat their husbands like children, the rotten looks they give them, and they’re soooo thin-skinned. He’s a damn surgeon not a bum sitting on the couch. They’re his kids too if he wants to let them sit in front of the tv and stay up late, he should be able too. Sad to see them argue in front of the kids. That had to be one of the most uncomfortable scenes this year. Hang in there Terry, you deserve someone better.

  9. Heather I really like you ……but you are a bit uptight. Im sorry I cannot except that you decide to stay home and raise your four kids and you don’t have any free time for yourself. You are so lucky to have the husband and family you have along with the financial stability. I raised my four kids by myself after my husband passed away they were all under 12. I had no choice but to go back to work but EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of my free time was spent with my kids. No girl trips no trips to dinner unless the kids went. That was my choice when I decided to have kids. Until they are 18 and out of the house they are my responsibility and I take that job very seriously. If I had a husband like yours who can give you the world the last thing I would be upset about was whether he wanted onion rings and steak with his clams. What would have been the big deal to give him what he wanted you surely can afford it. I would love to have had my husbands input on dinners, vacations etc. YOu take advantage of him and that is sad. Your right every partnership has its ups and downs that the way it is. But when I see you shutting your husband out ignoring him like a 2 year old (whether its for the show or not) you should be ashamed of yourself. Of all the women I think you are the only housewife with any class you outshine them for sure. DOn’t be a hollywood statistic and end up chasing child support for your kids (although I bet yours would still leave you in the lap of luxury) Instead of bitching about staying home with your kids and that your husband is teasing you too much say a prayer and hug your kids everyday and stop the nonsense your too classy for that.

    1. The “class” word is a bit over used, but ultimately WELL PUT Melodie. We don’t know what we have til it’s gone sometimes.

  10. Heather’s son said “Mom did your parents argue alot” he was visibly upset. There is your red flag! I mean if your own son says that…something needs to change

    1. Heather is the most vile and disgusting housewife I have ever seen. She desperately wants to be somebody when she is a NOBODY. Keep GLAZING and hopefully you will not last another season. You are two faced and mean just like the friends you keep “Tamra and Gretchen”.

  11. I happened see an episode of this garbage while staying home, recuperating from a cold. This woman Heather Dubrow is a selfish, shallow hypocrite. She writes “I was so excited about my guest star role, and thought Terry would be in the anything-you- need-mode” REALLY? She expects her husband to LIVE in that mode, day in, and day out. Here is the other comment which shows her true colors: ” I don’t regret staying home with my children, but having an opportunity for five days to feel like my old self and be creative is priceless”. Let’s take a look at this statement: It appears she pines for her “old” life, when she could be “creative”. As a mother and business professional I did not see parenting as an impediment to my creativity, quite the opposite. I don’t understand why a wife and mother with a loving, caring family would EVER make references wanting to revisit the “good old days” before these wonderful people were part of her world? This woman was a D rate actress who by now would be sweeping studio lots if not for her husbands generosity and tolerance.
    She claims to hate bullies, yet acts as a catalyst of the entire group spreading her immature high school mentality. She whines about not having “me time”. All this while chastising another member for having “rich girl problems”. Heather, your glory days are far behind, and your behavior is not pretty either. No wonder your husband brings up the D-word!!

    1. Priceless is the very limited precious time Heather and all of us have with our children during their short sweet little childhoods. They need us much more than the world needs another former D list actress with a name nobody knows looking to relive her “glory days”.

  12. Heather needs to treat her husband way better. There is no way she can afford that mansion of hers without her husband. I was disgusted when she had her outdoor dinner and had a huge queen chair for herself. Gross….husband sat with the others. Why are you so snooty Heather? You aint all that girl !!!!!!!

    1. I agree with you about the queen chair. Somehow most of these women have missed the most rudimentary elements of being a good hostess. Tamra and her “special” glasses for only two of her guests was the same. I’ve noticed a comment that comes whining out of the mouths of most of these women (Heather included) at one time or another, and Heather’s done it now at least twice. It runs along the lines of “This was supposed to be MY time” or “MY party” or “about ME.”

        1. Heather I was always taught growing up that you are to treat your guests like kings and queens. Not be pretentious and prove your special. Yes Tamara was wrong. We watch this show because we look at your lives with everything that you have -money, clothes, mansions, plastic surgery (ALL OF YOU) and our lives are wonderful. If that is what money does I sure many would give it all up just to have a normal happy family. your struggles and the average families struggles are like night and day.

        2. In all sincerity, Lolaz963? When you have a party, even if it’s a celebration of something in your life, it’s about everyone having a good time, unless it’s a public hanging or a briss. (Just kidding). It’s the hosts and hostesses job to make sure everyone is comfortable and feels welcome – that’s it. We’re all supposed to learn that as small tots. You don’t single out a couple of people and give them a gift because you like them better than everyone else there, you don’t claim you’re “gracious” and treat a guest like crap, you don’t get that petulant child look on your face because someone ate a flower off your cake and you can’t get past it or let anyone else get past it, either, and you don’t whine that this party was supposed to be all about YOU, like you’re some King from the middle ages who has invited people to come adore him. P.S. If I’d had one more daughter I would have named her Lola. Love the name.

          1. I had forgotten about the “special glasses” Tamara put out; she certainly does lack a lot of the basic social graces aside from the ugly behavior. Deborah I couldn’t have said it better (again); the bow eating incident was beyond ridiculously overly as well.

            There is nothing wrong with needing and wanting “me” time but certainly not while you are entertaining guests. The “big chair” was just plain gross. The woman desperately needs to feel better, more in control, smarter, wiser, even superior moment by moment. Vicki didn’t need Heather’s “advice” about sitting down with Tamara after the wine tasting either and her expression was natural and true. I read “give me a break Heather” on Vicki’s face. Priceless.

  13. Heather does not recognize what a wonderful husband she has.
    She constantly accuses him of making jokes at her expense, or joking
    when he should be serious etc.. What she calls joking, I call trying to express
    his views and ideas on a subject. At the clambake he wanted onion rings, they
    make enough money, why couldn’t he have onion rings too? Heather just dismisses
    everything he says as a joke because he couldn’t possibly be expressing an idea or
    response to something differently than she thinks that he should. If you don’t
    watch it Heather, Terry will find a woman who doesn’t dismiss him as such the
    jokester as she does and see him as a loving and caring husband. You’d better watch out
    or you’ll find out that the joke is on you.

  14. We have to remember that prior to the plastic surgeries and mansion lifestyle, Heather D. was an average rated actress. In my opinion, she has brought this season’s “trouble in paradise” as a ruse to get more notice this season. Historically she has been seen as a backseat spectator of the usual RHOOC drama and I’m of the opinion she is merely creating fight scenes for the camera. I feel compassion for well rounded women who juggle marriage, kids, house, work or all four. I do not sympathize with women who are blessed beyond inagination with maids & nannies but still continue to whine and demasculinate their husbands because they’re still not satisfied. Heather, learn how to get along with your spouse and stop being overly sensitive. There are far worse things he could be doing besides not taking you seriously from time to time. Humble yourself, pull up your big girl panties and knock that chip off your shoulder.

  15. I love Heather, I loved this blog entry. I agree, couples fight. I’m overly sensitive too, so I understand how every little thing directed at you can be taken to heart. I understand what she’s saying, and I also agree that some things should be left alone. Terry and Heather are a match made in heaven. 🙂

    1. Being overly sensitive is something that is a challenge; being aware that one is overly sensitive is a step in the right direction but allowing it to excuse a person’s over reactions is like excusing one’s inappropriate behavior or reaction as a result of any other character flaw. Trying to help a person who is over sensitive is like a catch 22; it is a lose lose unless they recognize they are being unreasonable and unfair in their reactions. I also believe OVER SENSITIVE and DEFENSIVE can at times be used interchangeably, frequently in conjunction with “manipulative”. It is just not attractive.

      1. Great point. Being overly sensitive is just another manifestation of it being “all about me.” I’ve noticed that people that the ‘sensitive’ trait is never about being sensitive to others, but is always about being sensitive about oneself. Heather is the most insensitive person I can think of at the moment. She makes comments that can only be read by her children that they are a burden, not a joy. Her constant comments about her husband make him look like a buffoon. And among the girls, too, she’s the first to arrogantly judge and give unsolicited advice.

  16. Heather thinks she’s a good wife to her husband? Ha! Please…
    She said she loves him very much? Why doesn’t she show it sometimes. She’s such a hypocrite. The way she throws her husband under the bus and tells everyone “ohhh, he pulled out the divorce card” how dare he. Poor schmuck had to apologize and do the “dirty laundry” in front of everyone in the group. I would never do that to my husband. Fight your personal battles IN PRIVACY and show some respect for your husband…

    1. I think Heather has the kind of personality that demeans and castrates men, and then hates them for being weak. As much as she rides him for not having decent conversations, she doesn’t have conversations with him, either. She doesn’t converse, she dictates. It’s interesting that the woman that is sooo sensitive when anything is said to her is so insensitive when it comes to others.

  17. Heather is a complete joke. She should be kissing Terry’s ass from the time she wakes up till she goes to sleep. I thought Tamra was a total C U next tuesday, but Heather blows that away.

  18. Train wreck television at its finest. My guilty pleasure but I only allow myself to watch one of these shows. RHOC. These women are pathetic and everything that’s wrong with America: self-centered, materialistic, egomaniacs! I tune in solely to watch these bit@#s fail. They never let me down. Schadenfreude at its finest.

    1. I agree with all you said, except I’m addicted to most of the franchises. It must be similar to what possessed the Romans, watching all this carnage.

  19. Heather’s behavior toward her husband
    is wrong. Men who joke do that in uncomfortable situations , usually to get a
    Point across without hitting below the gut .
    Heather had a superior attitude to most of
    the ladies, and she does seem like a “whiner”. At any rate , that is who she is,
    she knows what is important and what is not , and perhaps her making mountains out of molehills is her way to draw attention to herself-perhaps showcase her
    acting ability? Perhaps she is bored and needs some excitement? Perhaps she doesn’t feel well? Perhaps the kids are a bit too much for her?
    Sadly, she has a husband that bends over backwards and validates his love for her a lot, and she doesn’t seem to appreciate it.
    Maybe she feels she is a better actress than a mom? No one really knows their marriage dynamics when not on TV.
    She just seems to be a negative person all around. If that is the case, Terry knows that and should act accordingly-
    By not poking the bear!

  20. Well since most of the comments were from last year, I can’t really address the onscreen bickering between the two of them but what I think most people will agree with about Heather is she tries to portray herself as ‘wise and no nonsense’ when she’s really an insecure overly sensitive hypocritical person. She’ll constantly behave with arrogance and hautiness and then when a mirror is put up to her face she doesn’t like it and TWISTS everything around. She’s doing with Shannon this season and she did it with the one gal who was younger, very slender (forgot her name) but who wouldn’t put up with Heathers passive aggressive elitistism and isn’t on the show anymore. Now, she’s whining and getting upset and subtly causing drama with Shannon because she feels threatened by her. Heather thinks she’s “teflon coated” but she’s not. NOW, as for her husband…sorry but he’s just a s**t stirrer if ever I’ve seen one. He plays into and feeds into Heathers need for drama and joins her in looking down his nose at people. I’d love to see his cosmetic surgery work but because he comes off like a mean-girl himself from time to time, that tells me he lacks a certain professionalism – if not, decorum.

    1. Boy do I ever agree with you, Gia! Heather’s husband comes off as pretty dim and needy, which doesn’t make him seem very competent. She doesn’t help, but then he doesn’t need to buy into her chastising him all the time, either. And what I’ve seen of him this year he’s trying to be a gossipy girl with her. Not too attractive.

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