Former RHOBH Yolanda Hadid talks about how difficult life became after being diagnosed with lyme disease in her upcoming memoir,Â Believe Me: My Battle with the Invisibility of Lyme Disease.
An excerpt from the book was released throughÂ PEOPLE, and Yolanda talks about having thoughts of suicide while on vacation with then husband David Foster, two years after being diagnosed in 2012.
â€œI take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting. The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me. Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the waterâ€™s ebb and flow,” she writes. â€œGod please just take me away in a wave. I canâ€™t live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear. My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and thatâ€™s the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown.â€
Yolanda also says in her memoir,Â â€œAs difficult as these past five years have been, I am so grateful that this journey has led me to living in the light. I have had it all and lost it all, only to realize that less is more, money canâ€™t buy you health or happiness, and one day at a time is good enough.â€
Photo Credit: Bravo