Dorinda Medley Wishes She Wouldn’t Have Gone to Bethenny’s BBQ


Dorinda Medley believes she should have trusted her instincts when it came to attending Bethenny Frankel’s BBQ. She writes in her blog about last week’s episode of the RHONY that John’s apology wasn’t done in a style she preferred and that she wishes Bethenny could have handled the situation better. She also weighs in about the drama between Carole and LuAnn.

“OK, this is going to sound awfully cliché but at this point, I feel everything we’ve been up to these past few weeks is just as old and as cliché. So here it goes: CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

I know that sounds far simpler than the “reality” we’re seeing, but that simple concept is exactly the approach I’ve always tried taking in my life. We are grown women, and we have complicated lives, complicated pasts, and even complicated futures. That’s why I generally stay on my side of the fence and let the others try and figure out what’s going on in their backyards first. But you know how it is…everyone wants to tiptoe through your tulips and set your house on fire.

Speaking of houses on fire, Carole and Bethenny are really cute…

Carole had an insightful moment, commenting on John being an elementary schoolboy yanking Bethenny’s pigtails. But I don’t remember elementary being so gossipy, so bitter, so resentful, so…childish. More like a sequel to Mean Girls than The Little Rascals. Look, it took some serious humbling for John to even go — at Bethenny’s invitation, let’s be clear — and then to apologize to her for the assault earlier in the week. I’ve said this before, so I’ll say it again since it bears repeating: John had no right, and it was truly out of line. So now he had to make up for it and be gracious and respectful. Take it from me — those two qualities are VERY rare in this day and age. Especially in this city, and even more so amongst our group.

Look, his apology attempt wasn’t done in the style I would have preferred; and Bethenny’s attempt at being gracious wasn’t done in the style I would have preferred either. It was like a lead balloon festival…crashes, burns, splats everywhere. Was I better off skipping the birthday party? Maybe. Here’s the thing: I like Bethenny, and I know she likes me. I thought it was an opportunity — and the right atmosphere — to try and put this behind us, graciously, make peace, and celebrate a fun day together. I was hoping to see everyone take the high road, but instead they took the low seats in the picnic section. I should’ve stuck with my intuition and not gone. Ultimately my company wasn’t appreciated, John’s company certainly wasn’t, and that just resulted in undue stress on Bethenny’s birthday…again. We should’ve just stayed behind. Either way, it would’ve been better just being the Princess and Countess moment.

And on that, it’s quite obvious that Carole and Luann can’t move on from last year, something they’re BOTH guilty of and took way over-the-top — both online, on-camera, and in day-to-day. Fact is, they both needed to apologize to each other because it certainly wasn’t a one-way street. The friendship was killed off before an international audience for four or five months, and in private for the next 10. Just be ladies about it — cordial, respectful, gracious, and then avoid each other. They’ve both moved on, they’re both happy, they’re both in love, and they’re both living their lives. Shake hands, smile from across the room, and then enjoy yourself. Another simple concept I’ve always lived by.

Even the next day at Jules’ brunch, the moment Luann walked in, Carole was clearly not comfortable and clearly wanted to leave. Luann is a presence, for sure, but by no means is she people repellant. She’s actually quite the opposite. Seeing Carole so uncomfortable and watching Bethenny just be downright rude was uncomfortable FOR ME. It was almost embarrassing. Keep in mind, Jules is my friend, and I brought Jules’ world and this housewifery world together, so seeing them clash like this was actually really disappointing — almost hurtful — and, yes, truly embarrassing. Both Bethenny and Carole are past the age of having their poor manners be overlooked. If John, Luann and Ramona can’t get away with it, then neither can Carole and Bethenny. Neither can anyone, really.

So let’s brush up on our social niceties for a moment: As guests in someone’s home, it is your responsibility to be gracious, be kind, and be complimentary. Everyone has opinions, everyone has insights, everyone has their own perspective. But no one has the right to voice them whenever they want — especially not when you’re a guest in someone’s home. No one is excused from that: no mogul, no princess, no countess, no king, no sultan of stains. We’ve all had our big dreams scrutinized by our elders and our peers, but these girls should know from their own personal experiences that scrutiny made you persevere and made you succeed beyond your own expectations. Not everything can be a business decision or a judgment. As much as it pays to have brains in this world, it often pays more to just have heart.”

Photo Credit: Bravo


21 Replies to “Dorinda Medley Wishes She Wouldn’t Have Gone to Bethenny’s BBQ”

  1. Dorinda is quite eloquent. I like her when she’s sober.

    I thought Bethenny had every right, on camera, to ask John what he was apologizing for. His smug look and the way he turned nasty said it all. Shove your apology if you don’t mean it or can’t remember why you’re apologizing.

  2. From my second favourite RH this has slipped way down. I really don’t like the way Bravo have gone with these shows. Getting tiresome and boring. Dorinda is probably my favourite when not drinking.

    1. I like Dorinda when not drunk as well. I do have to say that this BBQ was ridiculous. Do these people think that if they are not going to talk to someone, that that person will not film anymore?We are not stupid, in a cast of 7 or 8 women, how do think you are going to film on the same show and literally turn away and ignore people like we did in high school. It was uncomfortable to watch.

  3. It’s too late now Dorinda. You went to the BBQ with John, and your gut said not to go. Always go with your gut feeling. It usually steers you right, and as freedomgirl said, I like Dorinda when she is not drunk. When Dorinda is not slurring her speech from drinking too many martinis, she makes a lot more sense. Dorinda should date whomever she wants, and if it is John, then it is, even if we do not like him…and I do not like this man. It is up to Dorinda and what makes her happy. I don’t have to understand it either. I also do not excuse Bethenny for her rudeness. She should have told Dorinda that she should not bring John too…instead of acting like a mean girl IMO.

    1. This is going to sound really petty but the past two episodes, she does this thing when sitting down that is bugging me. She sits like a guy when she is riled up and has her legs open. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s annoying:) You were completely right that it’s too late to back that shi**t up as she likes to say. lol. She went to the BBQ and took John against her better instincts, and knowing that Bethenny is not a gracious person that would welcome John warmly. He is an business opportunist like Bethenny though, so maybe he insisted on going.

      1. Yes, I agree that John wanted to go. It seems he loves to be on TV and have a speaking role from what I can tell. Dorinda should have known better and not taken him there since that bra event turned out so well…. John is pushy and mouthy, and I wish he was not filmed. He has become Bethenny’s main story so far. She loves ripping him apart and he does the same with her.

        1. These are all true statements. As disgusted as I was at this juvenile BBQ, I did think to myself that John and Bethenny are a good match. Not in a couple way, but they are very similar with the New York tough guy attitude, so neither backs down to the other. It was stupid to bring him without having cleared the air, but that’s just what you and I would do…the housewives shows are meant to be the worst scenario, to bring the most drama 😀

      2. Freedomgirl, I noticed that too…the way she sits, I also wish someone would tell her to check the back of her hair – trivial – I know but drives me crazy. LOL

        1. I never noticed the back of her hair…but I WILL NOW. lol. The first week she sat like that at the bra party yelling at Ramona, and then she did it again sitting out by the firepit in Bethenny’s back yard. Maybe it’s from getting so angry and not realizing that she is doing it, but I’m glad I’m not the only one that noticed 😀 You are right that it’s trivial but funny.

      3. Oh I almost wrote that she sits that way because she has big balls…but decided not to…until now! 😮

      4. It’s not petty, freedom girl. I know it’s hard not to notice and it is annoying me too. Most of us feel that way. Real Sandy said it, she has big balls! I don’t even want to start at the back of her hair! 😉 Love your comments! ❤❤❤❤❤xoxo

  4. I like sober Dorinda but John is creepy. Seems like he loves the camera and the sound of his voice. IMO, he’s creepy. But if Dorinda is happy with him I wish them luck.

  5. Dorinda wishes she “hadn’t gone”, she does not wish she “would not have gone”. When did this annoying and incorrect grammatical construct become a part of everyday speech? The only thing more annoying is people who text and walk in crowded spaces.

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