Carole Radziwill Writes Open Letter to RHONY Fans


On this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York City, it was quite an emotional one for cast member Carole Radziwill. Carole went to London with co-star Dorinda Medley to pick up her late husband Anthony Radziwill’s ashes and bring them back to New York with her. It was a sad but somewhat happy experience for the former journalist, and she has written an open letter to fans about sharing this part of her life on the show and thanking everyone for her kind words and wishes.

“Open Letter to RHONY Fans:
Thank you so much for all your kind words this past week on social media and elsewhere. I watched tonight’s episode with equal parts fear and gratitude. Fear because, well, it’s the show, and gratitude because Bravo treated my story with grace and honesty. I’ve been on this show for three seasons now and it has been good, bad, and ugly. But the one constant is the integrity I try to bring to each story. I do not chase silly drama for the sake of storylines, though it sometimes seems to find me. I’ve found myself in hot water from time to time. I do not create events for the sake of television. I try to keep it as honest and real as I can with television crews following me around.
What you see on the show is what is happening in my life. It’s as real as reality can be. The London story is no different, except that it was a story I was reluctant to tell for many years. And one I almost didn’t tell. Those who have watched me for the past three seasons know that my husband’s family and my past life is not something I discuss on camera. I wrote a memoir years ago and everything I have to say about that part of my life is there, in that one place, the end. But life is funny. Just when you think you’ve written an ending, a plot point pops up. My latest one came in the form of an email from the church where I had interned my late husband’s ashes on the one year anniversary of his death, over 15 years ago. It was the strangest request–please come pick up your husband’s urn. Luckily, Anthony left me with the gift of his beautiful sense of humor. No one could have appreciated this twist of fate more than him. Off to London I went.

It took me some time to allow Bravo to follow that story. Initially, I said no. I couldn’t imagine talking about this part of my life so publicly. I called Father Damien in London and we had a long talk. I told him how pleased I was to hear from him and how excited I was to bring the urn back home. I told him what had transpired in my life during the past 15 years–the ups, the mediums, the downs, and the missing. I told him about the heartbreak and joy. I also told him about the television show. He was kind and soft-spoken. He heard me and he advised.

As this was happening, I remembered a promise I made to myself after Anthony’s death that I would listen to what the universe was putting in front of me–the good, the bad, and the weird–and I would follow it with as much courage as I could muster. For better or worse I signed on to this show. And here I am. Sure, I cried a bit and that is always embarrassing to me to watch, but in the end, as I watched it, I felt proud. Proud that I had the courage to talk about my husband. Proud, again, of the life we built together and proud of the life I have built since.

My heartbreak isn’t harder than anyone else’s. We all have to endure this life journey. Mine has brought me immense joy and immense pain. I’ve loved and lost. And like everyone else who has done that, I’m more hesitant now. Our hearts are not as resilient as we pretend them to be. It’s one thing to post uplifting inspirational words by day, it’s another thing to try to sleep with the scars at night.

A lasting gift from Anthony is the relationship I have with his mother. We share his memory together, and we share his loss. We share what was and what might have been. She is a graceful and elegant woman who has endured much joy and much sadness of her own, and with great strength. We have a sense of calm and history and peace with each other, and also respect, that no one else could ever know or understand except the two of us. Life is an overwhelming bundle of loose threads. The ones you can hang on to are precious.

Thank you so much, Dorinda Medley, for sharing your beautiful story with me and allowing me to share mine.

Love, Carole”

Photo Credit: Bravo

  • Sally

    That was beautiful. I have just started reading her first book, only just, anyone else read it? I don’t like Carole this season, she seems to back Heather up too much, but that’s what friends do! Hopefully next season She will be back to how she used to be!!! I hope that name sense it’s early here!!!!!

    • kt

      I have read her book, as far as I can remember, the only book that has ever made me cry. It felt more like I was watching a movie. I’m not a chick flick or book type of girl and wasn’t sure I wanted to read, but I’m so glad I did! I hope you enjoy and look forward to hearing what you think.

      • Sally

        Thank you, I cried reading water ship down so it sounds as though they is little hope for me here!

      • imaroyce

        I just lost my husband, he was only 46. Do you think this book would be healing for me to read or worse :/

        • RealSandra

          I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please do take care. It must be difficult.
          This book is a great book to read, since it is well written. If you want to know more about it, you can go to Amazon and read the reviews by so many, and some have lost loved ones too. There should be an excerpt too I believe. This way you can see it from others’ perspectives. Everyone grieves in his or her own way. I can see it as helpful rather than harmful in my opinion, but maybe not so soon. It is an emotional read. You can always start at the beginning and read a bit, and then read more if you feel you are ready.

  • RealSandra

    I read Carole’s Memoirs years ago. It was a touching story written well and it allowed me to see her life and understand the emotions that she felt throughout those times.
    I always said that Carole is protecting herself from hurt by putting on a bit of armor after the pain of the great loss of the love of her life. It isn’t easy to feel that way again with strong emotions after such deep pain of loss. I am happy she has found Adam, though he is the same age as my own son, Adam, and that part gets to me for that reason only. She seems happy with him. I am grateful she shared her story on TV for the others who always critique her but have no idea about her life. It was clearly the best episode I have seen…ever. I wept for her.
    Thanks for sharing, Carole. It was nice of you to take Dorinda too and so very touching,

    • Andrew

      I agree! Also, I don’t think her and Adam will last. Something will happen where it’ll feel like she’s taking care of a, “son she never wanted”.

      • RealSandra

        Interesting analysis.,,though he seems more nurturing in that relationship to me. I thought it was a way to relive a lost youth…to feel young again after maybe missing out on a lot when she was so busy working on location with ABC News, though she dated Anthonynon and off for years.
        As far as it lasting, I don’t really think she thinks it will either, but she is enjoying the ride while it does. He certainly makes her smile and his smile is quite charming to put it mildly.

  • One Rotten Egg

    Wonder if Heather just wasn’t able to go to London, hence asking Dorinda. Still, nice.

  • Andrew

    Even though I’m not a huge Carole fan, this was beautifully written. This is the Carole I like, who exposes herself as raw and natural. Instead, she’s a shadow to Heather. This episode had to be one of my few favorites and I’m glad she brought Dorinda. Despite what she had thought about her through her talking head, it got a chance for Carole and Dorinda to openly form a stronger friendship.

  • Cin


  • Aunt Bee

    Carole is a smart, funny, intelligent woman. I read her book when it first came out and was very touched. My hope for her is to get off this damn show before she is destroyed by a mean spirited, phony snob. Obviously from what Carole has written she and Anthony’s mother are friends despite what the fake counta$$ implys. Your true colors are really showing through this year LuAnn.

  • ChristopherM

    That was beautiful and heartfelt. I have heard in various sources that Lee Radziwell, her mother-in-law and Jackie Onassis’s sister, is not happy about her involvement in this show.

    • RealSandra

      Yes, I heard that in the beginning too when Carole first accepted the position on RH. I don’t think the show is looked upon as a classy thing to do when you are associated with such well established “blue blood” families. She frowned upon it.
      Carole is not a blood relative to them and she seems to be a free spirit. I like her, and it sounds like she has a pretty close relationship with her former MIL now anyway.

  • Lisa

    What a beautiful letter. I am so happy Carole and her mother in law are close and sharing the relationship they would have had had Anthony lived. I love that. God bless them.

  • DebBrenn

    She’s got more dignity than the rest of them pooled together.

  • Karen’

    Lovely, thoughtful and poignant. So touching. I really was moved by this episode and by Carole and Dorinda’s candor. This kind of drama, bonding and women elevating one another is what I prefer to see rather than low class fights where the women call each other names and scream at each other.

  • RealSandra

    Carole wrote in her Memoirs that she scattered Anthony’s ashes out to sea (behind his mother’s home) like much unlike they did with JFK Jr and his wife weeks earlier. On Twitter she said, Yes we had two ceremonies. He grew up in London.
    She never said she split the ashes, but that must be what happened for both of these accounts to be true.

  • starr

    What a beautiful soul. Love Carole. Wishing her happiness again.

  • Mani

    I read her book as soon as it was released. I agree with Starr “What a beautiful soul” and I also have great respect for Carole. Her mother in law I cannot say one kind word for her other than she gave birth to a man that Carole loved deeply. I know Lee and she is not a lady. What is that song Frank Sinatra sang?

    • You know Lee? Where should we look to see anything written about her that would back up your claim? I am asking genuinely, so before you get angry, hear a questioning tone to that request. I had never heard of Carole or most of the others ’till she became a housewife. I only knew about the Kennedy’s what someone who was in 5th grade when President Kennedy was assassinated would know. Never been a celeb follower even when it is politicians becoming famous for other things. I could just google it, but usually just Wikipedia comes up and other generic stories, not the gossip stuff.

      • RealSandra

        I was surprised at that comment too. A personal acquaintance?
        There was something at some gossip column that Lee thought it was a tacky thing for Carole to do, and she frowned upon it, but I never heard about any mean-spirited comments anywhere. It sounds like Carole and her MIL are pretty close from what Carole said, all things considered.

  • Kelley

    I guess you are saying you are not only the most perfect housewife in the franchise, why, you are the most perfect person ever!!!! Watch the show. See what everyone else sees. Gross.