â€œIâ€™ve never had a problem getting f*cked,â€ Brandi Glanville writes in her new book ‘Drinking & Dating.’ In the book, Glanville recalls some of herÂ off-camera booty calls,Â dates, and one-night-stands, including some of her hookups with famous men. While she doesn’t name names, she does go into detail about some of her most memorable hookups.
The first man she talks about is â€œthe actor/rapper/political hopeful.”
â€œHe was the most gorgeous man Iâ€™d ever seen,â€ Glanville says. â€œTall, dark, and handsome withÂ milk chocolate skin, luscious lips, and the sort of chiseled abs you could see through his T-shirt.â€Â The first night they met, â€œI immediately recognized him from one of my favorite TV shows,â€ she says. When they first hooked up, Brandi was happy to discoverÂ â€œHis manhood was enormous â€” the perfect cherry on top of this gorgeous chocolate sundae. It was so large that he had to special-order condoms just to fit him.â€
â€œBut there was one problem I couldnâ€™t seem to get over,â€ she reveals. â€œHe was a huge f*cking stoner.Â â€¦Â Every time he smoked, his ego seemed to inflate and I felt like I was just there as a sounding board for all his grandiose dreams. Acting, he explained, wasnâ€™t his end goal. After winning his first Oscar (For either acting or producing, heÂ wasnâ€™t quite sure yet) and becoming a Grammy Award-winning recording artist, he planned to become a politician.â€ Brandi admits she tried to smoke pot with him to try and bring them closer, but eventually their relationship fizzled out.
Another hookup with an addiction issue was â€œthe fallen star,â€ â€œone of the most attractive men Iâ€™d ever laid eyes on,â€ Glanville writes, with â€œsparkly aqua-colored eyes, more tousled brown hair, and large chiseled armsÂ coveredÂ in tattoos.â€Â Aware of his history of addiction, Glanville says she only dated him after seeing AA slogans on his Facebook page. All seemed to be going well until one night she met him at a party and he was drinking a beer.
â€œThere were so many things wrong with this, itâ€™s not even funny,â€ she says. â€œBut he said [it was ok] so calmly and matter-of-factly, I indulged him for that one evening. Iâ€™ve known a few people close to me who struggle with addiction, and although I had never heard this â€˜just the tipâ€™ method with drugs and alcohol, I didnâ€™t want to make a scene at this party.â€
After the party, Brandi says he was MIA for three days. â€œHe went on a three-dayÂ coke-fieldÂ bender with a bunch of his old friends,â€ she says. Not long after, he went to rehab, and is now married with at least one child, and Glanville says she believes he is â€œgoing to be okay.â€
Next is â€œthe boy wonder,â€ a 28-year-old â€œaccomplished filmmaker who resided in one of the mostÂ exclusiveÂ and luxurious hotels in Los Angeles.â€
â€œDespite the success heâ€™d already found, [he] was stillÂ a littleÂ boy in so many ways,â€ she writes. â€œHeâ€™d arrive for dinner in a Polo shirt with an oversized Ralph Lauren brand logo, jeans, sneakers, and a mop of messy brown hair on top of his head.â€ HeÂ he â€œhad a thing for cougars.â€ When he didnâ€™t make a move after their first night together, Glanville says she â€œthought he must be gay.â€ But more than a year later, they finally did the deed after becoming closeÂ friends. Glanville admits to being â€œsemi-intoxicatedâ€ and says â€œI barely remember it.â€
That wasnâ€™t an issue with a height-challenged â€œup-and-comingÂ comedianâ€ who would become a household name. â€œHe had the kind of face you remember,â€ Glanville writes. â€œSharp features, thick dark hair, and a goofy grin.â€
â€œWe laughed so hardÂ â€¦Â that my stomach was hurting and my jaw was sore (It sometimes ends up sore after a date, but not from giggling),” Brandi says of their first date.Â â€œIt only turned awkward when I asked him why he still had photos of his ex-girlfriend, now a well-known actress, everywhere. He mumbled something and changed the subject.â€
â€œWe had spent the entire evening laughing so much that IÂ couldnâ€™tÂ stop laughing when it wasÂ timeÂ to get serious,â€ Glanville admits. â€œEvery time I looked at him, Iâ€™d think of something funny he said or remember one of his characters and would burst into hysterics. It didnâ€™t help the mood.â€ The relationship went nowhere after that.
Finally Brandi gets graphic describing the NBA player she dated who is also friends with Kris Humphries.Â â€œHe was six feet eleven,â€ Glanville says. â€œâ€¦TheÂ energyÂ between us was out of control and even the simplestÂ gesturesÂ became sexual.â€
â€œWe couldnâ€™t keep our hands off each other,â€ she remembers. â€œâ€¦By the time I was on my third glass of wine and he was on this third potato vodka, the heat was turning up. His hand found its way under the table and up my dress.Â â€¦Â It was on like Donkey Kong.â€ On the way back to his placeÂ â€œWe made out like teenagers every time the car hit a traffic light or stop sign,â€ she writes. â€œHis fingers were all sorts of ways up my dressÂ â€¦Â â€™You have to pull over,â€™ I said with heavy breathâ€¦â€
â€œWhen the car was finally in park, I tried to get on top of him,â€ she explains, â€œbut it was not working in this tiny car.â€ So Brandi admitsÂ they had sex on the hood of his car by the sideÂ of theÂ road.
Photo Credit: Bravo