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Brandi Glanville, “I Didn’t Really Wanna Murder Joyce”

Brandi

Brandi Glanville is taking to her Bravo Blog to discuss her fight with Joyce Giraud at SUR. Brandi explains why Joyce was getting on her nerves and says she believes we will be seeing Joyce’s true colors soon. Brandi also says that she didn’t really want to murder Joyce, but she was imagining herself knocking Joyce’s teeth out.

Brandi writes, “Kyle asked me if I would model in her charity fashion show and if I could ask some of my model friends to donate their time also. When it comes to kids or animals, I will do just about anything to help. I asked a few of my best friends that were former runway models if they would be willing to help. And, of course, they obliged. When we arrived to the fitting,Joyce and a friend were already there. I decide to be the bigger person and say hello and introduce her to my friends Jennifer and Etirsa. Kyle has known both Jennifer and Etirsa through me because I have brought them as dates to many of these ladies’ events over the years.

Jennifer and Joyce start immediately speaking Spanish, and, while I know it’s not an actual secret language, I’m annoyed and almost feel like I want to pee on Jenny to mark my territory. I have no problem being cordial to someone I am not fond of for the sake of the situation.

David Lerner’s clothes were super sexy and I thought everyone looked great in them. I am in no way a size zero. Because I have a long torso, things sometimes fit me weird but I’m a Size 4 and very healthy.

I laughed out loud when I saw the gangster Barbie part, as I super smacked on my gum. I think I’m going to pitch it to Mattell. I can picture it now: Barbie with some big chains and maybe a grill.

It was interesting to me when Joyce said you can never be to thin to rich or to sexy. . .It seem to roll off of her tongue very easily without any prompting. This is almost the same saying as Joyces opening tagline, which she’s complained about. Hmm. Interesting. That’s just like how adamant she was about not being able to swim — but now she says she actually can swim just not that well. Lie much?

I think we will start to see some more of the former Miss Puerto Rico’s true colors coming out. Joyce saying you never be too thin really bothered me, because in fact you can. Young women have enough problems with eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, and then to have an ex-beauty queen perpetuate that one can never be to thin is just wrong. I think that Joyce may have a problem. Maybe instead of focussing on what she thinks my issues are, she should take a closer look at herself and her own issues.

Lisa invited me to SUR and I really didn’t want to go. My kids had just come back to me after ten days of being away, and I had just missed them so much that I didn’t want to leave their side. Lisa insisted it was important to her that I come, so I begrudgingly accepted. When I arrived she told me Joyce was coming (which I did not know) and that she wants us to try and move past our issues. . .I was really not in the mood for this tonight.

Joyce comes to dinner late and kisses everyone hello — completely snubbing me. Then she also tells Mohammed he is the only reason she came. I can already tell this isn’t going to be a fun dinner and really wished I had stayed home with my kids.

After Mohammed told Joyce that Lisa is the the most wonderful woman he’s ever met in Beverly Hills (something I found odd, considering his fiancée was sitting next to him and the mother of his children across from him), we get into a fight. Joyce once again calls me a racist, bully, etc. etc. Even her husband joins in to gang up on me.

Joyce’s husband should not have involved himself in that way. He wasn’t around for any of the issues. While a man should stick up for his wife — that should never involve yelling at another woman. Did I really want to murder the ex-Miss Pureto Rico? No, but in my head, I was imagining knocking one of her fake teeth out in my head.

As Joyce was going on and on, she said something to me that really stands out. She said she knew why I brought one of my best friends (Etirsa) to Kyle’s fitting. I honestly think that remark was the most racist remark ever. I have friends, ex-boyfriends, an ex-husband, and even children from all different ethnic backgrounds. Although I made an insensitive, stereotypical joke, there is nothing racist about me. I also want to add for my entire life I was teased about my name. I was called “vodka” or “gin,” asked if my mom was drunk when she named me, and even asked if I was a stripper and that was my stage name. Teased!!! Not bullied — and you know what I’m a stronger person for it.

As Joyce and her husband continue to gang up on me, the f bomb starts flying out of my mouth, per usual when I lose my temper and am arguing with two people at once. These people are exhausting and why is this grown ass man screaming at me? I’m frustrated and I start to get emotional. It’s about time to go. All Joyce does is exaggerate EVERYTHING — just as you saw when she mimicked Lisa’s hair flip. So lame!”

Photo Credit: Bravo

AllThingsRH

AllThingsRH

My name is Nicki. I am 32 years-old and married to my best friend. I was previously in business for over 12 years, but I’ve always had a great passion for web and graphic design. Another one of my passions, of course, is to escape into the world of TV, which is where this journey began. My goal in starting AllThingsRH.com was to give fans, like myself, a place to catch up on all the latest news and gossip about The Real Housewives. I wanted to create a place where viewers could interact with each other, share their opinions, and get straight-forward and unbiased information about what’s going on. I am proud of the diversity this site has to offer.

  • julieg

    It doesn’t matter what Brandy explain what happened before or after the dinner.It always comes down to the same.Brandy is way out of line and has been since she was first introduce to the RHOBH …and I’m not a fan of anyone on particular this is typical Brandys behavior lately with the suport of Yolanda and Lisa.She should own it ….stop trying to excuse herself and just own it …stop sending apologetics bloggs and then she keeps on with her antics just own it Brandy and start fresh ,you need is to own your flaws and stop drinking because you can’t handle .Do it for hour kids. God will bless you with a much happier live.

  • Jenna

    Brandi is a alcoholic; no doubt! She without alcohol is rude, but when she drinks; she is possessed. Rude is no longer the word for Brandi on liquor. She is classless, vulgar, intolerable, full of envy, full of hate, and just plain ignorant!
    I wouldn’t have a friend who acts in such a manner; let alone stick up for her when she on her rampage. I know Brandi says she doesn’t care what viewers say or think about her but I don’t believe that for one second. She cares and she needs to step back and take a long look at herself and her out of controll behavior!

  • Aunt Bee

    Brandi do you have any idea how juvenile you sound here and of course you are once again THE VICTIM. Wise up little girl, YOUR friend spoke in Spanish first not Joyce. Your are such a jealous ho because you have no man to stick up for you. Before Joyce even got there you were filling Martin and Mohamed negative things about Joyce. You need help and fast.

    • Barb

      Well Aunt Bee your negativity pretty much negates any point you might try to be making, to me. And speaking of juvenile: “Jealous ho” and “wise up little girl”? Really?

      ANYHOO….MOVING ALONG….

    • Joan

      I think the comment Barb made was totally wrong. Aunt Bee, you were absolutely right and I applaud you.

  • SS

    Remember what comes out of your mouth – no matter how many times you say your sorry- (like calling Wolf) cannot be taken back!!

  • Twinkle

    Don’t worry Brandi…..some of us wouldn’t mind knocking Miss Puerto Rico’s fake teeth out either. Still – get a hold of yourself woman and lay off the booze. If for nothing else but it gives that Dull moron fuel for her fire!

  • Brandi, I really liked you when you first came on this show and I still do. I know you are a good person but I think the drinking is taking it’s toll on you. I sure hope you realize what you’re doing and stop the drinking because it’s turning you into a very nasty person. You are doing to Joyce what Kyle and Kim did to you when you first came on the show. I think you are jealous of Joyce and you don’t need to be. I’m not a huge fan of Joyce, believe me. But what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. Now sober up and let the bitterness go!

  • NanNan

    First off IF Brandi did not want to be at the party than don’t go, she said she had 2 kids she wanted to be with. So Brandi here is a little advice “DO NOT GO”, stay home and behave have fun with your boys.
    And Lisa, why ask Brandi???? She knows it’s like adding gas to a fire, Brandi’s going to get drunk and act like a fool, and Joyce’s husband is going to take up for his wife just like Ken,and David, take up for Lisa and Yolanda…. Brandi needs to be sent to a rehab to dry out, but then she will have nothing to blame her acting out on.

    • Joan

      If her children were her first priority, why did she agree to go because Lisa asked her? A priority is a priority and the children seemed to be taking second place to pleasing Lisa. And I do not buy the “I really did not want to go” comment. If she didn’t want to go, why go? Brandi has always claimed that nobody can force her into anything. Lying anyone?

      • Melodie

        Joan you have to start thinking like an adult not a child. We all have had nights we did not want to attend functions. She is under contract with Bravo to attend specific functions. It does not matter the time you have with your kids it is the quality. How do you not know that Eddie and Leann are not out attending music awards dinners and leaving the kids with nannies. SO since we all don’t know best to not comment on something stupid like this.

  • Barb

    I have to agree Brandi needs to lay off the booze. She is provocative enough without it. And that coupled with her seeming just a tad on the miserable side is a bad combo. She pushed Joyce to the brink with her stupid games; you reap what you sow. And I cannot stand Joyce!

    That being said, I feel for her, she needs help. Brandi needs to open up, get real and focus on her issues; and be a better friend to herself and others. She could have a wonderful, happy life!!

  • joleeface

    This envious, hateful lush has a nerve posting this blog. Nit picking to find something that Joyce supposedly did wrong and making herself sound ridiculous, desperate and dishonest. Take ownership of your actions and the public may be more tolerant of you.

  • Brandi…enjoy while you can…all I see for you is a life time of self-inflicted misery.

  • Melodie

    You guys are so funny. All this stuff happens over a matter of 6-8 months what you see if edited scenes. Brandi likes to drink (so do i) She may have drank 6 times in 6 months and Bravo caught all of it. Both these women need interventions but I have to give Brandi credit she owns her own issues and never backs down. We see these stories told in a condensed version and everyone says Brandi is drunk 24 -7 I don’t think so. Joyce is a mess she is so boring and has no story. Her “Baby” as she calls him looks like the kid on the playground who always got bullied. SOrt of a humpty dumpty type. Sorry…but I call it as I see it. THis franchise is just going down hill fast in a speeding car heading for the ocean and will sink into the sea. I HOPE….. Its the same old story over and over and over and……….you get it right

    • Jenna

      Oh melodie, calm down….. Brandi is a drunk. Yes we all know about editing, yes we are all aware the show is edited to show the most possible drama. That doesn’t excuse Brandi and her vulgar and trashy behavior. Brandi admits she has a big drinking problem. Try editing the drunken scenes and Brandi would have no storyline. Brandi acts like a victim in all cases and is aloud to say whatever comes to her mind with the smallest of vocabulary. It seems the only words she can think of are nasty vulgar curse words. Im sure Brandi has a larger vocabulary then she leads on. Joyce is classy and acts like a lady until pushed to her limit. Joyce may be boring to you because she isn’t walking around with a potty mouth acting like a prostitute.

    • Joan

      Melodie, as I said before, if Brandi can’t control herself while drinking, she sure does have a problem. Drinking in itself is done by many, but acting like Brandi does while drunk does not happen to everyone. This in itself is a problem for Brandi when drinking is involved. And yes, we all know its edited. But even with editing, doesn’t Brandi herself defend her acting up when drunk? If it wasn’t true and just the editing, why does she admit she has a problem when she is drunk? I thought she bragged about owning up to her mistakes? Joyce being “boring”? Well, I must say that I would rather be around the “boring” (in my mind, she is a LADY) than the nasty and unladylike mouth of Brandi any day! Jenna, you have hit the issue correct.

      • Melodie

        OH My GOD PEOPLE IT’S FRICKEN TV!!!!!!!! If you don’t believe that Bravo has anything to do with what happens on the show your nuts. The crazier she acts the longer we talk about it and the longer she stays!!!!!!! Get a GRIP!

      • Melodie

        Be serious Joan this show is kept alive by Brandi’s antics. Everyone sits on Monday night waiting to see her mess up. I don’t believe anyone who says they tune in every week to see Yoyce flip her hair. She’s got nothin,,,,,

        • Jenna

          Well melodie, speak for yourself. I do not watch the show to see Brandi and her drunken stopper, I watch the show to see Lisa, Kyle, and most of the other ladies. I can do with out Brandi and Carlton, they are both discusting to watch. I’m going to speak for the majority and say…
          We do not anticipate watching the show on Monday night to see Brandi’s antics. when Brandi’s on; is a great time to take the dogs out, vacuum the floor, anything but watch her stupidness.

          • Melodie

            Good for you Jenna I would bet your in the minority because many people watch to see her crash and burn and of course pick fights with all the others. So how is it watching the others? For me it’s like watching grass grow………..Y..A…W…N………..

  • getreal

    Sounds like Brandi is fishing, and fishing hard, for any excuse for her treatment of Joyce thus far. Now, apparently, Joyce speaking Spanish and her tagline is reason enough to bash her again. UGH. She keeps mentioning that we’ll see the real Joyce in future episodes, but how does that justify how Brandi has behaved towards Joyce up to now? It doesn’t. Brandi’s blog has nothing of substance, its all nonsense cause she’s got NOTHING.

    • Joan

      You are so right getreal.

      • Melodie

        Brandi’s comment about Yoyce speaking spanish with her friend was only made out of jealousy it had nothing to do with racism. Why does everyone have to throw the race card every time someone in the situation is not white speaking english. She was upset her friend and Yoyce seemed to clink. She was just being over protective. Come on people. she has a Cuban husband and children, she dated a black man for years. SHe is not a racist. Maybe an alcoholic but not a racist.

        • getreal

          There’s nothing in my comment that implies Brandi is racist. But I did find her saying “fill this up before I kill a Puerto Rican” disturbing. Also when she told Joyce’s husband to “go back to wherever the fuck you came from ” may not exactly be labeled racist, it is definetly laced with discrimination. Brandi can claim that she’s not jealous, she’s not racist, she’s not this and that, all she wants — but her behavior says the complete opposite.

          • vallygirl

            Hi Getreal!
            Wow Brandie wanted to pee on Jenny to mark her territory.
            That statement says everything about Brandie, Brandie is possessive scary woman!!
            Just like when Lisa stopped calling her and called Kyle instead as soon as Brandie learned about the phone calls Brandie made sure to put an end to Lisa and Kyle’s friendship. Brandie is the modern day fatal attraction!

  • yaya

    Here’s Brandi grasping at straws, backpedaling, apologizing then still blaming everthing on everyone. As grown as Brandi is, she still doesn’t get it. Lay off the alcohol, Brandi! Clean-up your act! Act like you have some sort of decency! Give into the idea of rehab! For crying outloud! The good majority of the viewers are not enjoying your behavior! Basta already!

  • Aunt Bee

    Brandi is not what I want to see Melodie. I fast forward when her face appears. I don’t like the language she uses and she acts crazy drunk and sober.

  • Melodie

    Aunt Bee I would bet the farm that your in the minority. I fast forward through all of them this franchise has nothin…….. It’s a dud.

  • Aunt Bee

    Actually Melodie, I am beginning to find all of these housewife franchises are duds. It’s the same old same old. Very predictable. I used to think how glamorous their life was but I find my dull middle class life more meaningful than anything I’ve seen in the 2-3 years I’ve been watching.

  • Melodie

    I agree Aunt Bee they all have taken a nose dive. Im sure I will tune in to see what’s going on especially with NJ the trial might keep me interested.
    All the stuff going on with Brandi happened months ago its been over with and done for a long time. Want to bet these women never see each other unless their filming. None of them really like each other. Lisa and Yo know each other and socialize because of Mohammed and other friends. Kim and Kyle yes but I doubt they are all friends outside the show. Snore…………..