This week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac was an emotional one for Housewife Ashley Darby. Ashley had a very intense therapy session about love, self-esteem and relationships. This empowering moment led her to have a very deep conversation with her mother about their relationship.
BravoTV.com: What is it like watching this therapy session now? Have you been able to see, as your therapist pointed out, that you are more than your actions to your loved ones?
Ashley Darby: Being transported back to Esther’s blue couch still makes tears well up in my eyes. I was at such a confused point in my life, trying to navigate between the two closest relationships in my life, fearing the potential of losing them both. Looking for love from outside places was how I validated my existence for a long time.
When Esther told me that I am already enough without working to get that sought-after validation, it was quite a eureka moment. I’m not sure where it happened, but along the way, I started to think of love as transactional. While it’s natural to want to make my loved ones happy, I’ve had to realize that my support and affection are enough labors of love. I’ve been operating this way for almost three decades, but I strongly believe I can shift my way of thinking.
BravoTV.com: Your conversation with your mother was so real, tell us about this moment and what it was liking having this conversation. What is it like watching it now?
AD: The anxiety that I felt leading up to that discussion was unparalleled. I was raised to never question my parent, or say anything “disrespectful” to her. I felt that even broaching this topic was going to hurt and upset her so much, that our relationship would never be the same. Pure fear of what could transpire from just a one-hour interaction.
Then, actually being in the moment I felt my feelings bubbling over. As my mom began to rationalize this toxic relationship for the umpteenth time, my heart started racing and the room got really hot. I couldn’t understand how she could stay with someone who hurts her and everyone around them. All of the years of frustration began to grow and I lost my temper. I don’t even remember saying that I don’t know what I’m going to do with her – I was so in my feelings.
When we came back together and embraced, it was a very centering moment. I love this woman more than I can express. We have been through hell and high water together – we shall overcome this obstacle too. I’m not sure how or when, but I have faith in our strong bond.
BravoTV.com: Where are things at currently with your mother?
AD: We are still working to find a pure and stable place in our relationship. We have gone through many hardships together, and this is just another ebb and we will always flow. My mom is at a tough point in her life and confronting these issues are hard for her, I totally understand. Once she believes in herself, everything will fall into place.